- Radical: Taking Back Your Faith From The American Dream by David Platt
- God's Generals
- God's Generals: The Reformers
- The Help by Kathryn Stockett
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Books Reese Read in 2011:
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Vanity.... and Graduation
Those were my thoughts today as I sat back in my reclining medical chair and let a kindly dermatologist zap my face with a laser. That and "Please, Lord, preserve my vision!" Despite closed eyes and tight-fitting metal goggles, I could still see the light that stung my skin.
Why? Rosacea. And it's free treatment, despite costing about £400 in London. I figured the better question was: why not?
I walked away with a bright red, rather swollen face. After ice packs and some prayer, I'm grateful to report that the medical technician was wrong when he said it would take 2-3 days for the sunburn-like redness to leave my cheeks. I'm back to normal this evening.
But my favorite news of the night is that I've officially graduated from Bible school, even if I'm not officially done with all the work. I still have some assignments to complete, but my pastor apparently wanted to demonstrate the concept of FAITH! And if I slack off, he'll hound me like the persistent widow with the unjust judge (Luke 18:1-8)!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
To give up my rights,
To lay down my life,
To offer my future,
To give my devotion, my skills, my energies
I shall not waste time
Deploring my weaknesses
Nor my unfittedness for the work.
I acknowledge your choice with my life
To make your Christ attractive and intelligible
To those around me.
I come to you for spiritual preparation.
Put your hand upon me,
Anoint me with the oil of the One with Good News.
Save me from compromise,
Heal my soul from small ambitions,
Deliver me from the itch to always be right,
Save me from wasting time.
I accept hard work, I ask for no easy place,
Help me not to judge others who walk a smoother path.
Show me those things that diminish spiritual power in a soul.
I now consecrate my days to you.
Make your will more precious than anybody or anything,
Fill me with your power
And when at the end of life’s journey I see you face to face
May I hear those undeserving words,
“Well done, you good and faithful servant”.
I ask this not for myself
But for the glory of the name of your Son. Amen.
~AW Tozer
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Clutter
Like Reese, I'm not going to make any promises, but it sure feels good to be back and writing again. I've missed it. Maybe now that I'm going to purposefully make different choices I can actually calm my life down enough to post once in awhile.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Serving Leftovers To a Holy God: My Time
By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. (2 Peter 1:3 NLT)That said, Crazy Love by Francis Chan is a must-read for any christian feeling the tug of the Holy Spirit towards a Christ-centered life rather than a self-centered life. There's a reason it's been on best sellers lists for so long! I believe that this book accurately represents the Movement of Discomfort among God's people.
Chapter 5 is titled "Serving Leftovers To a Holy God" and is worth a read, even now. Click HERE for a link to the chapter, reprinted with permission.
For years I gave God leftovers and felt no shame. I simply took my eyes off Scripture and instead compared myself to others. The bones I threw at God had more meat on them than the bones others threw, so I figured I was doing fine. ~Francis Chan, Crazy Love
Hm. Yep. That's me in most areas of my life. Maybe all areas. The one I am thinking about today is my time.
When I was a kid there was a song by Larnelle Harris that always ran through my head, the lyrics being a message from God and went something like:
I miss my time with you, those moments together. I long to be with you each day and it hurts me when you say you're too busy. Too busy trying to serve Me. But how can you serve Me when your spirit's empty? There's a longing in My heart, a longing for more than just a part of you. It's true, I miss My time with you.
Even now, more than 20 years later, that song runs through my head sometimes and continues to convict me. It was the background music in my head as yesterday my pastor (the amazing Pastor Ken!) referenced Malachi 1:8 and asked bluntly "What sacrifices are you bringing to The Lord?"
Instantly I thought of my time. The Holy Spirit has been calling me to early morning prayer and Bible study for literally years. This is almost laughable when you know me-- I'm usually very sleepy as it is! The very thought of leaving my bed early is actually quite absurd-- but so was the thought of the King and Creator of the universe dying as a human on a splintered cross. Is heeding the call of my 5 am alarm really, truly that absurd?!
But my humanity cries out "No!" I have at least 5 reasons on any given day not to roll out of bed; or worse, not to even set my alarm before bed. It's not essential to my salvation. Plenty of very godly people have devotions at more convenient times. Why would God want me to be tired all day? I'm already getting by spiritually on a fairly healthy level.
It's called sacrifice for a reason. God asks for a "tithe" and the "first fruits" for a reason. The Holy Spirit is calling me for a reason. It's time I find out how my life looks when I obey. And so I post it here: as both a confession and a challenge. Now that it's out there and out of my head, I can deal with it. And you can hold me accountable.
My challenge for you today: in what areas are you serving our Holy God leftovers?
The Hole in MY Gospel
So, I'm not back. Just here, for now. Maybe I'll be back tomorrow. Maybe next week. Maybe not. But I will try.
Here's my life, in list form:
- I'm attending my church Bible school, part time, and loving it.
- I'm shuffling my kids back and forth between school and home.
- I'm looking to revamp my life.... as usual!
When in history did it become okay for a christian to pursue comfort? When did it become more strange for a western christian to shun wealth and safety than to live like a non-christian? (And when I say "live like a non-christian" I don't mean being "evil" but being "normal". When did "normal" become acceptable behavior for us?) Why do I fit in with non-believers so comfortably? Does my life more resemble my non-christian neighbors or Jesus'? When did the word "missionary" become dirty? When did Christianity become acceptably private? Am I really achieving my best when the total sum of my witness is not drinking, not cussing and not watching X-rated movies?
How different am I- really- than the world?
And when I ask these questions about myself and don't like the answers, what does a homemaking, military wife do about it?
That's what I want to pursue over the next few posts: how to become all I can for God, from where I am, in the context and position of my life as God has given it to me now. Is it a matter of buying less and giving more? Spending more time before God, crying out for wisdom and opportunities? How am I to speak and act differently in the light of a new way of thinking- a new way of being?
In truth, I think there is a wave of change moving across the Western World. I believe that the People of God are becoming increasingly uncomfortable with our lifestyles and more convicted by The Spirit to step into new and exciting things. I'm going to explore what this might look like for the average person.
I heartily recommend the books I've mentioned here. There's also the subject of human trafficking and how buying fair trade products can make a difference, and what to watch for in our own communities to spot trafficked people. (None of us want to believe it can happen near us, but with 2-4 million men, women, and children trafficked every year, there's a chance you could come into contact with someone who has been victimized.) There are missionaries to be sent and missions to support, children and impoverished communities to sponsor. Skim through these sites: Smile International, Stop The Traffik, World Vision. Over the course of several posts I want to introduce some people I have met who are making a difference in the areas God called them to.
We all have a part. What's yours?
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
I'm Glad I Listened to Kris Allen's Album Until I Liked It...
Oh, and mopping my kitchen floor on my hands and knees today. That's a good one for the list. Makes me appear very dedicated.
As for reading, I'm halfway through The Appeal, as well as halfway through So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore, and a couple pages into Schindler's List. I want to take a day and just read myself silly, but an endless list of chores faces me daily, and besides that, I fall asleep as soon as I stop moving. That's why I putter around my kitchen most of the day and can't tell you much that I've done. I just have to keep moving.
But God continues to move on my heart with Isaiah 58, expounding to me on what true worship is really about. I believe in corporate worship services, but sometimes I gauge their success on how encouraged and fulfilled I feel at the end. Isn't that often the case? Recently a dear friend was honest and said "I just couldn't get into it" about a particular worship service. I've been there literally hundreds of times. As if it was about me.
Take a look- AGAIN!- with me:
2 For day after day they seek me out;
they seem eager to know my ways,
as if they were a nation that does what is right
and has not forsaken the commands of its God.
They ask me for just decisions
and seem eager for God to come near them.
3 'Why have we fasted,' they say,
'and you have not seen it?
Why have we humbled ourselves,
and you have not noticed?'
"Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please
and exploit all your workers.
4 Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife,
and in striking each other with wicked fists.
You cannot fast as you do today
and expect your voice to be heard on high.
5 Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,
only a day for a man to humble himself?
Is it only for bowing one's head like a reed
and for lying on sackcloth and ashes?
Is that what you call a fast,
a day acceptable to the LORD ?
6 "Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
9 Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
"If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
10 and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.
11 The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
12 Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.
13 "If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath
and from doing as you please on my holy day,
if you call the Sabbath a delight
and the LORD's holy day honorable,
and if you honor it by not going your own way
and not doing as you please or speaking idle words,
14 then you will find your joy in the LORD,
and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land
and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob."
The mouth of the LORD has spoken.
Corporate worship- singing, clapping, raising our hands, dancing, shouting to The Lord, or however you express your love and dependence on Him- is right and good and appropriate, but is it the only way we worship? How about making our lives a study in living worship, fitting service to a King who bent and washed His disciples' feet, who left all His glory to die a violent death on a tree so that we might be saved? He spent himself on me, is it too much for me to answer His call to spend myself on the hungry, to provide for the wanderer, to clothe the naked?
I'm still asking God exactly how this looks when worked into my life. I know two things for certain: the basis of these acts of worship are based on LOVE (for God and others), and it requires that I am not the first thing on my own mind. I am asking God daily for a surpassing love for those He loves, in all situations, no matter how uncomfortable it may be to me, and that this Love for others comes before thoughts of myself. I want to see the reality of having a priceless treasure in this jar of clay.
And, lastly, I need to share this with you all: I HAVE BEEN HEALED! My neck is 100% healthy and hasn't given me trouble since February. I haven't taken any medication, I can read without pain, prop myself up on my elbows while laying on my tummy, and I have begun jogging again for the first time in years. When some youth leaders and youth prayed for me in February, God healed me. It felt like a deep and private secret between me and my Father for weeks, but He made it clear when I should make it public. I give all the praise and glory to Him who heals! Praise God!
Cheers!
Saturday, March 13, 2010
"While I'm Waiting" Music Video- from the movie FIREPROOF
Have you heard this song? It's amazing! It's on the soundtrack for Fireproof. If you haven't seen Fireproof, you should run, not walk, to the nearest video store and rent it. Everytime I hear the song, I think I should blog about it, but how do I blog about it without being on my own soapbox. It's in my heart, I want it to be the story of my life.
When things are difficult, when I feel that God is silent, do I get angry or do I patiently wait knowing He is in control? I would say that depends. When our house burned I remember watching the fire and saying to God "ok, this is your deal, I can't do this, I can't fix this, I can't control this." There were some tough times but in each and every circumstance surrounding the fire t I felt Him with us. But, when my 2 1/2 month nephew was diagnosed with a terminal illness and when I was being told that he wouldn't live and my heart and my mind couldn't process it, I was angry, I wasn't hopeful or patient or loving. By the time James passed, I was peaceful. I knew who was in control and I was trusting. I couldn't do anything else. When my other sister learned that her child would be born missing one eye, some fingers, with a cleft pallet and a cleft lip and her brain was so squished it almost couldn't be seen on the ultrasound, the anger came back. Once again the love and patience was gone and I was furious. It took awhile, but I am peaceful with the choice of the path for Kenzie's life, and I am trusting for her. I have NO DOUBT, that Jesus loves Kenzie way more then I do and holds her in his arms.
As Christians, we were never promised the easy road but we were promised that God would walk with us. As parents, we can't always protect our children. Some hardships in life mold us into the people we need to be. Looking back over the different difficult times in our lives I can see when Jesus picked us up and carried us when we couldn't walk ourselves. Sometimes it was in the form of our amazing friends who loved us so completely. Sometimes it was in the peace that surrounded us in extremely difficult moments.
I know that I will experience pain and suffering in the future, unfortunately it's life in this world but I hope and I pray that in the future when I do I can say:
I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it’s not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
~Heather
Thursday, March 11, 2010
A Bunch of Randomness
I have been working on this for two days and I can't come up with anything more, so there you have it..our life the last couple of months.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Would You Like a Little Tofu With That Whine?
Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil.
Being a mist and all, it was probably a bad idea to decide what to make for dinner ahead of time. Of my planned dinners- and this being Wednesday night now- I have made......none. Nada. Not one. Desserts? Nope.
And Monday should have been easy; all I needed to do is defrost the soup I made last week, chop a few veggies, skip the beggar's purses, and butter a few pieces of bread. It's not much, it's certainly not fancy, but it's dinner. Unfortunately, there were a few kinks in the path to a warm tasty dinner on Monday.
The first bump in the road was realized when I rolled over in bed to thank my alarm clock for the 6 am wake up by whacking it in the head. Simply rolling from my left side to my right sent shoots of dull, oppressive pain running through my joints and muscles. My head felt like a fish bowl filled with manky water and big, loose rocks and it seemed that a rodent of some sort had lodge itself in my throat. Swallowing was very near impossible. Every step from the third floor down to the kitchen felt like I was hobbling out of surgery where I'd just been stitched up. It was hideous.
I consider myself to be a moderately strong woman. I'm no Corrie ten Boom, but with time I usually come to grips with tough situations and can take it. No cold/flu can get the best of me! All you really need to know is that in order to endure my load I have to let off steam. Usually that means talking it through regularly (poor Heather knows all about this one- she's most often my ear), but if opening my mouth hurts I'm going to have to vent my frustrations in a more primitive way. Uh-huh. I'm gonna cry.
And cry.
And cry some more.
Then I'll wipe all the tears away and toss the Kleenex in the bin. I'll tighten the belt on my robe, pull up my sleeves and start making The Boys' lunches...... and then I'll cry, maybe even having to throw the soggy bread out and start over with the lunches.
I might even sob a couple times before the Tylenol kicks in.
And then the pain lifted and I was me again. The rest of the morning was normal, except that Ian had an appointment with the allergist. Poor boy got poked and pricked, stuck and squeezed. In the end, it looks like he's still allergic to milk and now we've added peanuts, peas, walnuts, shell fish, and cashews. Uh-oh. There's the vegan version of cream in the corn chowder we're having for dinner, and it's made from- you guessed it- cashews. Bump #2.
Not that it mattered. I made it out of the allergy clinic and down to the pharmacy before I fully realized my pain relievers had worn off. I sat in a chair that had a magical gravitation pull and found that all my limbs had quadrupled in weight, which could only mean that I'd have to die in the chair. I managed to phone Tim to set up weekly visits and the occasional sponge bath when the chills and tears started.
Someone must have been in the back of the pharmacy, watching me and switching the heat off and on, just to see me go from shivering violently under my thick winter coat, to throwing it off and pulling my trousers legs up to my knees to release some heat so that I didn't catch fire. All the while crying, my tears feeling either like hot lava or ice water depending on what the sneaky pharmacy heat guy was doing.
By the time all my mascara was smudged into a tissue and smeared around my eyes, I remembered that an emergency room was just at the end of the hall. I thought if I could break free of the the gravity I might try crawling there, maybe grabbing a nap on the way. Just as I'd gathered my strong womanly resolve to follow my plan, Tim arrived and escorted me to my van, where I took more Tylenol and threw in a Motrin for good measure. Half an hour later I had returned and the shivering, crying lady was gone.
Too bad for the family, she came back right about the time I should have been making dinner. It's still not clear what Kristine made for dinner, but I suspect it was here specialty: mac 'n cheese from a box. Put differently, Zach and Ian couldn't/wouldn't eat dinner that night. Nice. While mom slept. Really nice. NOT!
I am happy to report that the chills and aches are gone and it's only a sore throat and ears that bother me now. Still not sticking to my menu plan, not through today, anyway. But, to quote another strong and whiny woman, "Tomorrow is another day"!
And, yes, I will take a bit of tofu with my whine. Thank you.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Menu Plan Monday
Monday: Corn Chowder (vegan version from The Conscious Cook), Sweet Onion Beggar's Purses (also from TCC), rolls, carrot and celery sticks. Dessert: mince tartlets
Tuesday: Individual pizzas. Dessert: banana "cheese"cake (Conscious Cook)
Wednesday: Black bean burritos with chips and salsa. Dessert: sweet potato blondies (Vegan Cookies Invade Your Cookie Jar)
Thursday: Veggie chili with corn bread. Dessert: pumpkin brownies (Vegan Cookies...)
Friday: Paninis and homemade potato salad
As soon as I start posting at my food blog I'll add the link here.
Cheers!
A very strong and convincing case could be made that if I was more organized/scheduled/Type A/anal I could get much more done. Yeah, yeah. I know. But where's the fun in that? On the other hand, where's the stress in that? Likely, nowhere at all.
So, I'm going to try to schedule my time better. And post it here so that I can be transparent...accountable...waste more time doing something other than what I'm supposed to be doing...
So, first things first: My Goals:
- Make some money
- Keep my house somewhat organized
- Develop my photography skills
- Read more
- Spend time baking and cooking and blogging about it (more on that later)
- Volunteer for the homeless, needy, etc.
- Organize my days, balancing what needs to be done with what I want to do
Warning: Not only am I very unorganized, I am also chock-full of good intentions that lead to nowhere. Only time will tell if that's what this post is all about or if I will finally change my bad girl ways. LOL!