Listening

About six months ago Holly and I started the journey to see Reese in England. Actually, we probably started this journey the minute we got back from our last one. We went to see Reese in Germany in September 2007 and decided we would visit again. We really wanted to go back in 09 but didn't think it would work out. The tickets seemed high, the timing seemed wrong, but we had these vouchers for $250 off each ticket and they had to be purchased prior to October, 2008. Eventually the ticket prices plummeted and we decided to go for it. At every turn our tickets fell through. We were beginning to wonder if we should persevere or give up. It's so hard to know when obstacles come in your path if it's a sign to give up and turn around or to keep pushing through to the goal. We really didn't have a clue what the obstacles meant but decided that we would push on because we'd feel terrible if we didn't make this trip.


Are you noticing all the "we"s? (I have no clue how to write that correctly). We wanted to do this. I don't know that we really prayed about it. I prayed that God would show us what to do and that doors would open. I talked, but I don't think that I listened too well.


I will admit that both Holly and I had bad feelings about the trip but we tend to be very nervous people and wracked it up to nerves. Then the fire hit. I remember when we first met with our contractor I told him about the trip and asked if we'd be home by then. There was no way I was leaving Dan and the kids for two weeks living in the unsettled aftermath of a house fire. The contractors exact words to me were "This will be a distant memory by the time your trip comes, don't cancel". As things "progressed" it became more and more apparent that things weren't going to be settled with the house by the time the trip came. I was more upset and uneasy and Holly was having her own obstacles about the trip.


We started talking about canceling the trip but we felt so bad about letting Reese down and possibly loosing all the money we spent on our plane fare. They don't just give you money back because you get cold feet. I actually had lost our itinerary and decided to call US Air and find out exactly when we were leaving and while I was on that call learned that US Air had changed our flight schedule without talking to us and that gave us the right to cancel with a full refund. To us that was a clear sign that God was giving us another chance to back out, and we took it. We had no clue exactly why we weren't supposed to go, just that now was not the time. Once we canceled that flight we felt immediate peace. I knew that there was a reason we were not meant to go this time but had no clue as to why, and I also felt like we would probably never know the reason why but we needed to just trust in God's plan and not our own.


You know when we were supposed to leave? Next week. Do you know where Reese is now? Here. Can you imagine the added stress that trip would have been on everyone if we hadn't listened and stepped away? Reese wouldn't have felt free to come be with her sister, which is exactly where she needs to be right now.


I do not believe that this is all one huge coincidence. I believe that God was attempting to tell us at the very beginning that this was not the time. I believe that He speaks when I am quiet enough to listen through that small voice. The trick is I have to shut up to hear it, and I'm afraid I don't do that enough. I am thankful that this time He dumped enough signs in front of me to figure it out and that it freed all of us up to do what we need to be doing right now which is being available to Reese and her family in every way we can.

This was a big lesson to me. It clearly shows that I'm still not listening and responding like I should be. Thankfully He doesn't give up on us, He loves us enough to keep dropping circumstances that change and mold us if we let them.