Saturday, March 13, 2010

"While I'm Waiting" Music Video- from the movie FIREPROOF

Have you heard this song? It's amazing! It's on the soundtrack for Fireproof. If you haven't seen Fireproof, you should run, not walk, to the nearest video store and rent it. Everytime I hear the song, I think I should blog about it, but how do I blog about it without being on my own soapbox. It's in my heart, I want it to be the story of my life.

When things are difficult, when I feel that God is silent, do I get angry or do I patiently wait knowing He is in control? I would say that depends. When our house burned I remember watching the fire and saying to God "ok, this is your deal, I can't do this, I can't fix this, I can't control this." There were some tough times but in each and every circumstance surrounding the fire t I felt Him with us. But, when my 2 1/2 month nephew was diagnosed with a terminal illness and when I was being told that he wouldn't live and my heart and my mind couldn't process it, I was angry, I wasn't hopeful or patient or loving. By the time James passed, I was peaceful. I knew who was in control and I was trusting. I couldn't do anything else. When my other sister learned that her child would be born missing one eye, some fingers, with a cleft pallet and a cleft lip and her brain was so squished it almost couldn't be seen on the ultrasound, the anger came back. Once again the love and patience was gone and I was furious. It took awhile, but I am peaceful with the choice of the path for Kenzie's life, and I am trusting for her. I have NO DOUBT, that Jesus loves Kenzie way more then I do and holds her in his arms.

As Christians, we were never promised the easy road but we were promised that God would walk with us. As parents, we can't always protect our children. Some hardships in life mold us into the people we need to be. Looking back over the different difficult times in our lives I can see when Jesus picked us up and carried us when we couldn't walk ourselves. Sometimes it was in the form of our amazing friends who loved us so completely. Sometimes it was in the peace that surrounded us in extremely difficult moments.

I know that I will experience pain and suffering in the future, unfortunately it's life in this world but I hope and I pray that in the future when I do I can say:

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it’s not easy
But faithfully, I will wait

Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting

~Heather

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