Life Is Just Too Short... or: None of You Guessed Correctly!

There's something to be said for remaining conservatively safe in most things; I have more to say about seizing the day. Life's too short to be bored out of one's mind. Having my hair the same way, year in and year out, bores me. After a year-and-a-half with red hair, I've moved on. To BLACK!

I didn't tell Tim I was going to color it, just emailed him pictures after the fact. I'm so blessed to have a man who loves The Many Hair Moods of Reese. His response? He called me "a cutie" and said (in response to my question about his opinion of the color): "Why not?" Oh, I love that man!

Ian and Mommy

The black hair makes me feel dramatic and glamorous. I get to pencil in my eyebrows with a black pencil, wear vibrant eyeshadow, start wearing the red shirts and jackets I had to ditch when I became a redhead. I think somewhere deep inside I feel like Snow White. As my tiny niece once said to me "I'm your dream come true!" I feel like a fairytale princess.

I also feel like I need to writing dramatic poetry... but that's a different post.

Anyone else feeling daring this fall? Not necessarily with your hair, but any major, voluntary changes on your horizons?

Random Observations on Separation

I've started wearing a watch. I always do when Tim leaves. When he's here I chart my days by his movements: I know when to start breakfast by when he gets up, I allow Zach to play video games only after Tim's left for work, dinner is cooking an hour before Tim arrives home. When we're out together, I ask the ever-watch-wearing Tim what time it is. When he's gone, I'm lost in time. So I wear a watch.

I don't like wearing a watch.

~~~

You know how you can still feel a person's presence after they've left you? How you drop a friend off and you still sense them as you drive away? That might be the hardest part of saying good-bye to Tim. After he left, the air in the van was still imprinted with his silhouette. At home, he's slept on his side of the bed so many times that his aura was left for days before the molecules forgot what it felt like to surround him. His imprint is everywhere- in every room of the house, on his pillow, on his chair at the kitchen table. It's both a blessing and a curse as the air closes in around the spaces it kept for him; it's easier to go about the day without the acute pain of missing him but sad how space forgets a person used to inhabit it. I think that's what ghosts are, the random remembrance of time and space of who they used to surround and caress.

~~~

Last week at church, my arm brushed Tim's and I cried as I realized that it was the last time I'd stand with him at church for awhile. I value worshiping together. Our spiritual lives are the completion of our physical ones, and joining with my soulmate in intimate communion with God is an honor and deeply moving. Yesterday, I worshiped without him. It is true that when everything else falls away, we are left exposed before God and he covers us. He is the husband to the husbandless and the father to the fatherless. He is all I need.

Separation.... Again.

It's become somewhat of a tradition that when Tim leaves for an extended amount of time I will write sappy and self-pitying pieces and post them on our blog. This time, though, I just needed to disappear for a bit. I did spend a cumulative 5 hours feeling sorry for myself (in the 3 days since he's left), but I think I'm done with that now. I think I'm ready to resume my "normal" life.

Since I purposefully neglected to write on the most emotional days following the separation, I don't have anything mushy and sentimental so I've decided to repost what I wrote when Tim left for Kuwait last year (originally posted here). I'm also adding the song that best reflects my feelings when Tim leaves. The fact that it isn't making me cry right now is solid proof that I'm emotionally stable at the moment. Yay! I plan to stay that way, and look forward to Tim's return after awhile.

On Marriage and the Hole in My Heart:

The dull ache started last week, every time I thought of Tim leaving. Twenty-four hours before he left it became a deep sadness, the deepest I've ever known. By the time we had only four hours together it was a desperate sadness- thick and mucky and lonely. I felt compelled to tell him how much I loved him, how he was a part of me and I wouldn't be whole until he came back. I felt the tearing- him from me- in my heart. The gray clouds, wind, and driving rain matched my mood as I left the place where he boarded a bus that took him out of my life until the fall.

We've had a turbulent marriage. The early years were the worst, the middle years contained a prolonged separation and near divorce, these last years have been the easiest as we have gained a small level of maturity and experience that likely came from joining the military and moving across the world. We've come to rely on each other as partners and friends as never before. By the grace of God, we've survived storms that would sink most couples. To God be the glory for this. It's despite our weakness that we still stand as a couple and a family.

This image comes to my mind: when back home last month I picked up a Nifty Knitter, a funky little device that allows Kristine and I to knit hats and scarves and various other things with ease. (Nifty, eh?!) I made a hat for Kristine, using 2 threads of yarn, one a pretty multicolor thread in maroon/gray/ivory, the other a soft, fluffy sage green color. Using them both at the same time made the hat stronger, thicker and more sturdy. In creating it, I tied, twisted, stretched and manipulated the yarns- in the end I constructed a hat with what might have seemed like a hardship from the yarn's perspective.

God joined Tim and I together, allowing us to be twisted and tugged with our own sinfulness and by the natural afflictions of life. At one point we rebelled against the discomfort of it all, separating and unraveling our life together. All along I heard God's voice in my spirit: "You and Tim were meant for each other." After a time we renewed our vows- renewed our commitment to being woven and spun into a couple again. Now, looking back over the past few years, I can see the project taking shape. I see the ways I've become like him, the ways he's more like me, the similar interests and the ease with which we carry on conversations when given a moment to do so. I feel a bond with him that words can't adequately describe. I know I wasn't remiss in following God back to the loom of "Tim and Reese." In these hours since Tim left, the predominant feeling I have is one of incompleteness.

And it's not like we have attained some awesome level of marital maturity. We still fight and have misunderstandings, and there were times in the past few months I thought to myself, "I can't wait for him to leave!" (I'm sure he thought, "I can't wait to get away from this lady!") But when enduring a prolonged absence from one another, especially in the face of the dangers of war, all the crap falls away and it's just us. Suddenly the little things don't matter. The petty stuff seems so... petty. Larger, more important things loom ahead. Like love. Commitment. Family.

That's my encouragement to those of you reading this who are married: cherish the good, consciously discount the bad, and keep with it. Most of the time the bad really is trivial. Resist the natural urge to magnify the faults of your spouse and to look over the strengths. Cherish the one God put in your life. The gift of companionship and love is precious and worth every effort you put into it.

It's Our Turn!

Yep..today is the day. Our 15th anniversary. Can I just tell you how shocking that is? I am in shock that 15 years has passed and I am not sure how it happened. Even though so much has happened in those 15 years, it seems like it has gone by in a blur!


We went through the exact same stuff that Tim & Reese went through. People really don't believe that you can get married at 17 and that it can work. It's been hard, the first 7-10 years were constantly rough, but that was because we were both still growing up while trying to raise three babies of our own. I am so thankful to be where we are today. Without God right in the middle, we would not be here.

We are heading away on Saturday, for only one night away, but we need it, and I am thrilled to spend some time with my hubby! Thank goodness for Grandmas :)


I had wanted to share some pictures from years gone by, but our scanner is not hooked up and lately my time at the computer is a luxury.


Here's one from last year, right before I went to see Reese.

15 Years and Counting

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.

~Bill Cosby

15 years ago today little Reese and little Tim thought they'd trot on down the isle and make their relationship legal, official and forever. People said "You're so young"; we had no idea that they were right. Some people said, "It will never last. Teenagers can't get married for a lifetime"; they had no idea that they were wrong. Fifteen years, four kids, two countries and a separation later... we still love each other and have begun to glimpse that promised deeper and more mature commitment that surpasses the twitterpated first flush of love. Praise God for marriage, and I thank him- and him only- that we are still together and looking forward to a bright future.

In loving you
I make myself
Transparent glass
Vulnerable
Exposed
Giving my heart
To your hands
My weakness
Protected by your strength

For loving me
I fashion you
Of strongest steel
That neither time
Nor heat
Nor cold can harm
An image of Christ
Your strength
Perfect in my weakness
(~by Reese, for Tim)

Recycled Post: Perspective

Awhile back my car overheated on the German Autobahn. I quickly pulled to the side of the freeway, all the while gawking at the amount of steam pouring from under the hood. As cars zoomed past my van at 90 mph, I instantly knew what to do: call my Knight in Shining Armor (well, ok, my Airman in BDU's, but you get the picture.). I was on my cell phone within seconds of stopping and Tim's instant reply was, "Open up the hood. Put out your warning triangle. I'll be right there!" This predicament wasn't at all the cue to fall apart it would have been had it happened in November when Tim was deployed and I felt truly alone. I felt safe and cared for, looked after, at ease as one half of a unit dedicated to protecting and providing for each other.

Rewind twelve hours. After a long day caring for two preschoolers, doing everything a SAHM does, as well as having awakened with that undeniable feeling of emotional delicacy that often accompanies PMS (but occasionally appears for no other reason than the whim of nature), I felt in strong need of nurturing. I ushered everyone through dinner, through the bedtime routine, and breathed a sigh of relief when the last little one was snoring in his bed. Now, it was my time for a little breather. Nothing big, just a quiet evening watching a little tv, leaning on the man by my side, drinking in his strength.Tim had other plans. He obviously felt the need for some down time as well. He ate dinner, helped with putting the kids in bed, then chilled in front of the computer. Organizing songs in iTunes never captivated a soul as it did Tim that night. Every half hour or so I asked, "Do you still want to hang out?" He always said he did, to hold on just a minute.

As time went on my blood began to boil. I had to literally remind myself to lovingly respect my husband. When I passed the computer nook and saw him engulfed in his project I envisioned smacking the back of his head with a dead fish- soft enough not to hurt, but gross enough to make my point.

Was he wrong? I don't think that should be my concern. I am only responsible for myself and my responses to situations I can't control. In this instance I failed miserably. I went to bed angry and hurt, selfishly ignoring what I could do to make my husband feel loved, instead focusing on what I thought I needed and how I had been wronged.What if that night I had looked at him and thanked God he wasn't one of the thousands of military casualties in the Middle East? Had he been a casualty of war, as a widow I'm sure I would have given anything to have him sitting at the computer, enraptured by iTunes. It's all in the perspective, the glasses you allow yourself to look through. Positive or negative, self-centered or God-centered, it's up to each of us to make the decision for ourselves.

A Valuable Pause

After my extremely short visit (barely more than a handshake and a greeting) with the Pain Management Specialist yesterday, Tim and I took advantage of a few hours by ourselves. We stopped by a French cafe in the town we were in and had dinner together. Alone. It was a cherished pause from everyday life.

I'm grateful for some time away, even if the cause was a (literal) pain-in-the-neck!

The only issue I had with the whole experience was one of the words painted on the mirror behind Tim. Can you see the problem? It drove me nuts the whole time I was there. (Anyone coming to suspect I've watched a bit too much Monk?)

And in case anyone's forgotten what a Big Day the 24th is, here's a reminder:

See you all there?! (What do you think it would take to get Heather to eat a snail? LOL!)


~Reese

Let Me Count The Ways

I know you guys have been just waiting on the edge of your seats for this post!

When I told Dan I had to do this I told him to start being funny so I had stuff to write about. His response was to start quacking like a duck and run through the house. He does stupid stuff, but it gets a good laugh out of me. I guess my first reason would be:

1. He makes me laugh...HARD!

2. He adores our children.

3. He supplies me with Pepsi!

4. Even though he was not enthusiastic, he supported my "need" to have tattoos. He even went so far as to sit with me while I got my memorial tattoo for James.

5. He puts up with my constant need to buy books, and read them.

6. He will fight for me and the kids, no matter who he is fighting against.

7. He backs me up.

8. He loves my sisters, and treats them as his own.

9. He would do anything for my nieces.

10. He is compassionate.

11. He is emotional, and things hurt him deeply.

12. He is intense (this is one of those love/hate ones! LOL!)

13. He speaks his mind...all the time (another love/hate)

14. He is quick to apologize when he is wrong.

15. He takes his relationship with the Lord seriously.

16. He loves 80s music...and keeps me in a constant supply of it.

17. He understands my love for the movie Dirty Dancing and even bought me the 20th anniversary DVD, despite the fact I have seen that movie over 100 times.

18. When we had the opportunity to adopt little Alex, a special needs baby from Guatemala, he jumped on it right away. The adoption fell through, but I always appreciated his willingness to do it.

19. He knows when our relationship is suffering and is the first to say we need to get away for awhile.

20. He supports my job, despite unusual demands on my time.

21. When he has pop sometimes it makes him hiccup like a terradactyl, it's so funny!

22. We call each other dude.

23. He sings in front of the church and it's amazing. I'm so proud of him for being able to do that.

24. He has strong convictions.

25. He wants for his children what he never had with his father.

26. He loves his siblings deeply.

27. He is generous with his friends.

28. He loves Reese, Tim & family as much as I do :)

30. It's important to him that we have as much family time as possible, and he hates for anything to interrupt that.

31. He watches shows that I think are stupid with the kids, and loves to share funny stuff with them.

32. He proposed to me on the stairs at the high school, it was nothing fancy, but always meaningful.

33. He bought me Crikey after Steve Irwin died.

34. He always understood my sadness for working full time and allowed me to use attachment parenting concepts while the kids were babies...which included a family bed, extended nursing and carrying the kids in a pack.

35. He finally said I was right about his "grandpa" glasses and went back to wearing his good ones.

36. Like Reese said, there are some things you don't want to know.

37. '' " "

38 " " "

39. " " "

40. " " "

41. He cleans the house

42. He does the laundry

43. He takes me on long motorcycle rides, even though they make me want to fall asleep. He told me yesterday that could just bungee cord me on and that way I could sleep.

44. I love that he named our youngest daughter (I named the first two). He gave her the perfect name, even though he got a lot of flack for it.

45. He loves to surprise the kids with little presents.

46. He brings me Lost DVDs to watch at night.

47. He understands my need for being warm and makes sure I have a warm house, or many layers of clothes on.

48. When we are walking in a store, he puts his hand on the small of my back.

49. He supports my trips oversees.

50. When James died, he gave me the space to grieve in the way I needed too, which included being away from home for almost a week. I was at my mom's most of the time, even though we all live in the same town, we all felt the need to just be in the same house for the whole week.

51. He constantly pursues being a better husband and father.

52. When I am at my wits end with the kids, he steps in and smooths things over.

53. He agrees with my Valentines Day theory.

54. He is not offended that I have had to get help thinking up 100 things.

55. When we were first married he used to sing me to sleep.

56. He puts his creative touch on every card he gives me.

57. He supports me getting my hair done because it makes me feel good.

58. He never questions when I need to spend money on myself or the kids.

59. We have gotten to the point where we understand each other's sense of humor. We now know what the other is thinking at any given moment and can laugh at stupid stuff because we know what the other is thinking (if that made any sense at all!)

60. He supported me when Reese and I were going to purchase a baby sling business.

61. He has supported my various attempts to work from home.

62. He allowed me to buy a sewing machine when Reese & I were going to do the sling business, and has never made any wise cracks about the machine still being in the box (and that was probably 2 years ago!)

63. When he is going to sing at church he sings the songs until they are absolutely perfect.

64. He looks hot riding on that motorcycle.

65. He loves to play with the kids and is good about taking them to the park, spending outside time with them.

Okay, so I can count, and I do realize that this is not 100 but I'm done! He says at the rate I am going it will take another 5 years to get to 100. Since he's okay with me not getting to 100, I'm okay with it! If I think of another 35, I will post them later :)

-Heather, who is so emotionally drained from thinking up 65 wonderful things about hubby, that now needs to go spend 2 hours with her favorite time waster, Lost!

100 Things I Like/Love About Tim

1. His eyes – I always knew I’d marry a brown eyed man!
2. His hair – brown hair was always my ideal in a man.
3. The way he used to carry around his old, tattered NLT Bible and our youth pastor called it the TVV: the Tim V Version!
4. The hulking heavy metal cross he made in metal shop and wore every day in high school
5. The way he always had his Walkman in the front pocket of his grey coat in high school. I remember how honored I was when he let me borrow it once.
6. How we were friend for years before we got together as a couple.
7. That I already knew his family, at least a little, before we got together.
8. His lifelong obsession with his hair: he used to do all sorts of wild things with a hairdryer and hairspray and he regularly got the back of his hair permed (keep in mind we were fresh out of the 80’s, his favorite decade). Later, he grew it out. Much later, he joined the military and has had to keep it short ever since. (I love it short.) Now, to his dismay, it’s thinning dramatically.
9. That he knew the history with my former boyfriends and still wanted me.
10. Those pink parachute pants he used to love so much!
11. That he introduced me to all sorts of food I’d never had growing up, including Chinese and Middle Eastern.
12. That we started going out before we could drink champagne and drank white grape juice in champagne glasses instead!
13. How, when we were going out and were walking together holding hands, he’d never let anything come between us – a stop sign or post, people. He thought it was a bad sign!
14. His strong Italian nose.
15. How much he loves 80’s music.
16. How loyal he is to his friends.
17. How forgiving he is of people who have hurt him in the past.
18. I love laughing with him. With life always barreling on ahead of us, it’s hard to connect sometimes for long enough to have a good laugh, but when we do it’s great. No one can make me laugh like him.
19. That he loves me no matter what color or length my hair is. He’s very adaptable like that.
20. That he was right next to me, sharing in my shock and fear on September 11, 2001.
21. That he joined the military because of 9/11.
22. That he is dedicated to taking care of his family financially and physically.
23. That we stayed on the Oregon Coast for our honeymoon. It’s still our favorite place.
24. How we’ve been together so long I can predict his actions and words so often.
25. The continent-shaped birth mark on his leg.
26. The scar on his chin that matches little Ian’s.
27. How he has called Sean “Friend” since he was born.
28. The stories he tells the kids.
29. How he keeps his fingernails so short.
30. That he plays the keyboard, guitar, drums, and bass.
31. I love to hear him play the piano. It makes me feel so much love for him when he creates amazing, harmonious sounds like that.
32. That he insists we all “stick together” everywhere we go. Sometimes it drives us all nuts, but he feels strongly about it and it’s respectable when I decide to see it that way.
33. How he insisted on fighting for our marriage when all hope was gone.
34. How he sings “Mr Sandman, Bring me Darice” to me.
35. He also sings “You Are My Sunshine” to me. So sweet.
36. That he tried to propose on his front porch to me, with “Everything I Do” by Bryan Adams playing in the background. I stopped him, because I wasn’t sure it was the right time. Minutes later some friends walked up the stairs and started chatting with us and I was glad he had waited.
37. That “Lovers and Dreamers” by Whiteheart was playing when he finally did get to propose.
38. I used to be annoyed by how he always wanted me to accompany him to meetings and such when I didn’t feel it was necessary that I be there. It occurred to me late last year (after many, many years) that he draws confidence from my presence and I should see it as a compliment. I doubt it we will ever fight about it again.
39. How he knows me so well he knows what to buy me for my birthday, where I’d like to go to dinner and what I’d order on a menu.
40. How we crawl into bed and watch movies at night.
41. That he learned to love Harry Connick, Jr. with me.
42. That he bought me an iPod for Christmas a couple years ago because he knew I wanted one so badly. He told me we couldn’t afford it, and then bought it when I wasn’t looking and surprised me!
43. That he almost always likes whatever I make him for dinner, and eats it even if he doesn’t.
44. That he says nice things about my backside!
45. That he has never once made me feel ugly, despite my having acne for most of my life and every day of our marriage (aside from times I have been on Accutane). I know he loves me as I am, no matter what I look like.
46. That he wrote the music to two songs that I wrote the lyrics to.
47. That funny noise he makes when he smells something stinky. It’s kind of a cross between a horse neighing and a baby sneezing.
48. His lips.
49. The way he rolls into bed when he’s tired and makes grunting noises like his old dog Duke.
50. His fake Irish accent.
51. The funny pictures and notes he leaves the kids every year from “Santa”.
52. When he makes me tea in the evening and brings it to me with a small treat in the saucer.
53. How he’s been willing to learn how to make my tea properly! No more leaving the bag in the cup!
54. That he reads my blog when he can.
55. That he encourages me to write and to take classes on photography.
56. That he tolerates whatever the latest thing is that I’m excited about doing (over the years it’s been starting a baby carrier business with Heather, having a cooking blog, saving money to invest or get started in the real estate business, going on cross-country trips, starting to make jewelry, crocheting, knitting, baking, selling on eBay, buying lots of purses, getting a sewing machine with lofty plans, etc.)
57. That he supported me in my buy-all-the-orange-underwear-I-can-get-my-hands-on phase!
58. His amazing sense of direction.
59. For the time we were asleep in Paris and every time he breathed out his tummy made a funny froggy-croaking sound. We both woke up laughing.
60. How we both like sweet red wine.
61. That he likes the way I make tea and coffee.
62. The way he oohs and ahhs over meals I put a lot of effort into.
63. That he took me to Paris.
64. He took me to London.
65. Our date nights.
66. (Stuff you don’t want to know!)
67. “ “
68. “ “
69. “ “
70. “ “
71. That he’s the father of all my beautiful babies.
72. That he’s not anxious for our oldest to join the military, even though he himself is in and Sean seems determined to join.
73. That he has started saving money for our future.
74. That he makes plans with me for what we’ll do when we retire.
75. That he loves our hometown and wants to go back there eventually.
76. That he’s from the same town as me.
77. That he loves God.
78. That he prays with our kids.
79. That he takes time to teach them about God.
80. That he shows the kids all sorts of stupid movies. I personally hate them, but the kids laugh with him.
81. That he methodically watched all the Star Trek TV shows with the kids, starting with the oldest and moving to the newest, until they had seen them all. Now they’re watching the old Lost in Space shows.
82. That he’s committed us as a family to our current church.
83. That he remains friends with people he loses touch with and makes an effort to find them.
84. His love for his sister and parents.
85. That he readily considers my family to be his. He practically grew up with my little brother (we got married when he was 5).
86. His hairy legs. Oo-La-la.
87. His smooth arms. Not much hair there. I love it!
88. His long, piano playing fingers. I love his hands.
89. How he was among the first to call me Reese (Amber was the first, I think).
90. How he used to leave love notes in my locker in high school.
91. That we shared a locker for the last semester of his senior year.
92. How he described our first kiss as “bombs going off” and "explosions”!
93. That he was there for the births of all our children. That he still loved me after I yelled at him when he tried to give me a breath mint for my bad breath when I was panting in his face (while in labor with our daughter). I’m sorry I embarrassed him.
94. For calling me on the phone when he’s away.
95. For loving me.
96. How he holds my hand so comfortably, and kisses me with familiarity. None of it holds the “explosions” of long ago, but instead a deeply valuable steadiness and comfort.
97. Because we renewed our marriage vows and meant it.
98. The much-loved nostalgic smell of his favorite colognes. They smell like our history.
99. How he won’t kiss me when he’s sick because he doesn’t want to get me sick, but I kiss him anyway and sometimes he smiles when I do (other times he is insistent, and turns away.)
100. Our silly nicknames for each other: Rotten and Nasty. Neither of us can remember who’s who.

~Reese

Toilet and Tub For Two

As I contemplate 100 Things I Love About Tim, I must say that I'm not sure my love would take me here:


We all have our limits, right?!

~Reese

100 Things

My hubby is on a short, temporary assignment that has taken him out of the country. You know what they say about absence and fondness and all, so, needless to say, I'm feeling very fond of my man at the moment. Last week I was feeling significantly less enamored with him; we had been mildly "at each other" for awhile. At the time I was thinking of a post that would force myself to think of something I didn't want to think of: all the great things I love about Tim.

At the time I wondered if I could list 100 Things I Love About Tim. Now I feel certain I could. Wouldn't that be a great exercise for all of us married ladies?! Especially when the urge to duct tape my dear one to a chair and whack him with dead fish - what a perfect time to refocus my mental energies on love rather than bitterness.

What about you? Think you could come up with 100 things you like/love about your spouse?

~Reese

Praising Him In The Storm

Tim and I separated in the summer of 1998 and didn't officially reconcile until May 2001. We lived in separate apartments, in different suburbs of Portland, Oregon and rarely came into contact, except through our attorneys, who were working out the terms of our imminent divorce. Those years are over, and--Praise The Lord, the Worker of Miracles-- we managed to stay together. Since then our relationship has grown, and we've matured. We both readily acknowledge that we are together by the direct intervention of God. Since renewing our vows in the presence of friends and family, we have had two more children and look forward to all God has for us.

But the pain of those years will never leave me. The pain I had while separated was acute, no different than if I had broken a bone or was lacerated and it never healed. I carried the pain with me at every moment. Even after our reconciliation, for years, I would recall the pain with the slightest whiff of a memory.

Now, what's left of the pain, I believe will never go away. It's a scar. In truth, I don't want it to go away. If it did I might forget what it feels like to be the one in acute pain. I value the scar as I sit beside a woman crushed in spirit, for my experiences mean I can feel her pain. I go weeks without feeling the scar, but at times it all rushes back.

It came back to me when, several visits to America ago, Heather's husband sang Praise You in This Storm by Casting Crowns. Dan has a great voice, and chose the perfect song to stir up my memories. I fought to hold back the tears as all the pain swept over me. When pain of that magnitude maims a person, turning away from God is the biggest lie the enemy will try to cause one to believe. The desire to numb the pain can outweigh everything else, even common sense. It was a forced decision to go against my human inclinations and continue to trust God during that time. And when I had had enough, my heaven-sent friends carried me back to the path God had for me. To "praise him in this storm" is to embrace the pain, and to feel the tears God cries on your behalf in the rain that falls. It hurts, but it's the best way to hurt.




~Reese

Enjoying A Stroll Through The Park

I needed a good dose of spring to lift my spirits. We spent the day at church, going out to lunch, and walking through the park by the river. I'm so grateful for the rejuvenating effect it had on my spirit. I'm now ready to face Monday. Cheers!

posted by Reese

Accepting Our Spouses Weaknesses

Unlike Heather, I am not a Valentine Scrooge. If Tim and I spent every day making eyes at each other and made time for focusing on our couplehood I'd see less significance in a day society dictates as "love day", but with life railroading us on most days I welcome a chance to slow down and appreciate the love of my life. There are only a few days in a year that Tim sees a reason to get me flowers- Valentine's Day and my birthday- and without February 14th my flower receiving would be cut in half. So, bring it on cupid, I'm here every year, same time, but maybe in a different place!

In the spirit of celebrating this societal mandate, Tim and I went to a couple's dinner at the chapel on base last night. It was a chance for us to meet some people, as well as to have some time alone without the kids. We enjoyed ourselves thoroughly. We ate salmon and drank iced tea and sampled red velvet cake for the first time. The guest speakers were very good, being funny and to-the-point.

Their point? The 3 A's of dealing with your spouse's differences: Acknowledge, Accept, Appreciate, and..... something else I can't remember, but you get the point. Admit that we're all different, get used to it, and rely on the way your spouse is different to enhance your life. Great advice, and well-timed in light of all my recent displays of direction-sensing challenges. Yes, I've done it again: I got lost in the UK.

On the morning that we moved in, I went with the Little Boys to meet the movers at our new house while Tim stayed behind to load up the last of our stuff from the hotel and to check out. I know exactly how to get to our house from base- if I go out Gate 1. As fate would have it, Gate 1 was closed. Luckily, or possible unluckily, I knew were another gate was. I managed to find it with minimal trouble, but this gate is on the other side of the base and I had never been on that side before. I figured that if I went either way, right or left (straight wasn't an option, thankfully, or I may have ended up in London) I'd be able to follow the outside of the fence and make way to the outside of gate 1 and continue on from there.

I should have realized that there was a reason all the traffic was in the left-turn lane. I took advantage of the clear right-turn lane, and off I went. This road led me far from the sight of a fence, and into a town in which the road swerved east and west, north and south until any slight idea of the direction I was facing (or should have been facing) disappeared. As I left the town and traveled the country roads, I left the county I was in (which I supposed to do), and was greeted by a "welcome to Suffolk" sign. Before long I was welcomed back into Norfolk, then back into Suffolk. I lost track of how many times I skipped between the counties. I was finally able to stop and ask directions at a base north of my town and way out of my way. Your town? the guards replied. No problem. Go back the way you came, take a left and continue on for 11 miles or so. They neglected to tell me which way to turn at the light, so I went the wrong way again and had to ask a kindly, amused British bloke how to get there. Go back the way you came, he replied, take a left and continue on for 6 miles or so. By the time I arrived it had taken me nearly an hour to complete a 25 minute journey.

You'd be wrong to assume that Tim appreciates the difference in our direction deciphering abilities. He appreciates it about as much as I appreciate his inability to clean a toilet or make piping hot Irish potato bread from scratch. The thing is, I realized as I mulled over the encouraging message from last night that sometimes we can accept and not appreciate our spouses differences- when those differences are weaknesses. Tim will never appreciate that I can't find my way out of a paper bag to save my life, but he can come to appreciate that God saw fit to pair me with him, who has a sense of direction that is almost magical in its instictiveness. Without him, God only knows how much time I'd spend holed up in my house, afraid to go out lest I end up in another time zone while trying to find a store down the street. On the other hand, if Tim didn't have me, he may never sample the joys of tall, fluffy homemade biscuits, or have a wife nutty enough to talk to him for hours at a time in funny, foreign accents. I'm a nut, he's sane and we're different. Oh, joy!

(posted by Reese)