McKenzie Turns 1

It's someone's 1st Birthday. Yep, can you believe it? A whole year has passed! She wasn't supposed to be here and we are enjoying EVERY SINGLE MOMENT! She is a true blessing.

Physically she is doing awesome! She has had a lot of surgeries this year and her attitude has always remained amazing. She smiles and giggles after her treatments. Even when she must be in pain, she is happy. She is even starting to speak, which is hard when you don't have a pallet. She goes in for her pallet surgery on November 11th. Please be praying because there is swine flu everywhere at the hospital she is going too, it's so bad that they may cancel the surgery. She truly is trying to speak though so we need to get it done so speaking with be easier for her. Her first words were mama and dada and her knew word "I love you". Shocking, and I didn't believe it, but I spent all evening on Friday with her and it's true! You can tell she is told that constantly. If you look at her and say "I love you". She looks right back and says "La Lu". So cute!!!

Thank you guys for your prayers and support this past year. We went through so much in such a short amount of time. You guys helped me so much and I appreciate it!

Thank you!

I need to interrupt our little hiatus to tell my blogging friends a great big

THANK YOU!!

A year ago on Wednesday started our traumatic events leading up to the birth of our beautiful McKenzie. As you know, things did not start out well. You can see here where Reese knew we were headed into some tough times. I started to tell you a little about what was going on here and another update here. You guys have walked this road with us. You have been there through the many updates, the frantic birth, the surgeries and all the praise reports along the way.



Here we are a year later and we are enjoying every moment with McKenzie. She has been a fighter since the day you she decided to be born - six weeks early! I am so thankful for all she has accomplished and how far she has come. My sister is a star mom and takes care of McKenzie's every need. God has certainly answered prayers with regards to McKenzie. He has shown who is in control and that He will guide us.



So, thank you! I can't tell you how much our family has appreciated your prayers and support. I really want you to know that it has meant alot to me.



Here is our girl now. She has glasses now, although rarely wears them as she just pulls them off. She is such a happy girl and laughs and talks all the time. She is slightly behind other kids her age, but not by much. She really is doing so well!

And now, back to our regularly scheduled hiatus! Enjoy the rest of summer...school is right around the corner :(

Trust

"Your baby will die immediately upon birth", the doctor said.

"The fluid in your baby's brain is growing rapidly, you do have other options"

"Your baby's face is severely deformed as are her hands"

"The outlook is grim, don't make plans for her"

(Mother' Day, the day Bethany did not think would happen)

I listened to those words, instead of these powerful ones:

I will give her a future and a hope, plans to prosper her (Jeremiah 29:11).

Or how about my most favorite verses of all, Psalm 139

For you created McKenzie's inmost being;

you knit her together in Bethany's womb.

I praise you because McKenzie is fearfully and WONDERFULLY made;

your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

McKenzie's frame was not hidden from you

when she was made in the secret place.

When McKenzie was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw her unformed body.

All the days ordained for McKenzie were written in your book

before one of them came to be.

I wish I wasn't so easily swayed. I wish my doubt didn't always creep in so hard and fast. I'm thankful that I have this beautiful little girl in my life to remind me that I don't need to be in control that I just need to trust God for the ride.

She will be 7 months old on Friday! McKenzie had her cleft lip surgery yesterday, and I would say it was successful.

She was beautiful before, and she's breathtaking now. I am thankful I get to be a small part of her journey. The plans ordained for her are going to be amazing to watch unfold. Her personality shines through in every circumstance. She's not able to completely smile yet, I'm sure it will be a few days, but we can't stop staring at her, just waiting to see. You can bet, there will be more pictures soon. She is done with surgeries for awhile and we are so happy.

Still Smiling

One thing that I have learned through adversity and watching my nephew and niece go through painful medical procedures and just a difficult life in general is that smiling just makes it better. Three days after having a feeding tube inserted, surgery on her eye and being blind for several days McKenzie started smiling again on her way home. It was the first smile my sister had seen since the surgery and I was lucky enough to catch it.

Thank you so much for your prayers. McKenzie is doing awesome. She even was able to get the eye patch off today. We praise God daily for McKenzie, thank you for praying with us.

McKenzie

Remember this post? Not too pretty was it? I am so thankful that God did not leave us there. I am so thankful that even when we throw our fits and we ask why and get angry that he is patient with us. I am so thankful that we fell instantly and madly in love with her. She is beautiful, just the way she is. I love watching my children with her. I am amazed by the the love and understanding my children show to others that the world may not perceive as "normal" because they have had James and now McKenzie in their lives at such young ages. I do not think that if I had been put in the same situations as them at their ages that I would be as loving and as compassionate.

I went back and re-read my post and I was struck by my last paragraph

I also know that after the storm has passed, and the sun is shining, the landscape will have changed, all of us will have changed. We will have loved deeper then ever before, cried harder and prayed longer. Our family will never be the same. No matter what the outcome, we will have changed for the better, but right now it is painful and so very hard!

That is us! We have changed for the better and the landscape is beautiful here. McKenzie is a shining star. She is adored and loved. I can't imagine loving this little girl more than we do. There will be challenges ahead and there will be tough moments but we will all be okay.

I wanted to give you an update on McKenzie. She is doing beautifully. She coos, laughs, smiles, plays, holds her head up and has us totally and completely wrapped around her little finger. Bethany has been to countless doctors with McKenzie and they are all saying that she's right where she needs to be for a 5 month old. She may be slightly delayed, but she was also 6 weeks early and has had a lot to overcome in 5 months.

We do need some prayers as we are heading into her surgeries. On April 30th she will have a feeding tube put in her stomach and she will have an eye surgery which will reconstruct the lower lid of her "good" eye. Then on May 26th (Amanda's 14th birthday) she will have surgery on her lip and for the first time in her life we will get to see her without tape all over her face. We cannot wait for the process to begin for McKenzie.

Thanks for praying!

A Sneak Peak

My house is in shambles, total disarray. Every day we try and get something more done. This has been just like an actual move. There are a few things that we have put together and stuff that I am loving. Here is a sneak peak of a few of my favorites

This is a tile that my coworker made. She gave it to me as a Christmas present and it's the first thing you see when you walk in the door.

This isn't a very good picture but it shows the stand the tile is sitting on.
Here is a picture that I blew up to 12 x 18 of one of my favorite castles in Germany. I also have another picture of castle ruins that should be here by Saturday and a picture of a very old door that was across the courtyard from Reese's house in Germany. I'm going to hang them all together and will post a pic of them when they are all up.

This wall is an idea I got from another blog I visit. It's large magnetic boards from Ikea for photos. When the wall is complete we will have six boards up and I bought a huge sign to go over them that says "Home is Where Your Story Begins"

This is a collage that's going up in our bedroom. I'm in love with it. I think it turned out amazing!

Here is a sign that hangs above our bed.

Our bed...I love it!

There ya go. A few of my new favorite things. Once the house is actually finished, I'll take better photos.

Photos!

I promised you pics, so here they are. They aren't very good and as things progress, I promise to post updates.

Here is the sink and mirror. Although, there's a lot of junk on it. We didn't even have a faucet or bathtub until Thursday, so everything just got piled on there. We went from a ton of bathroom storage, to absolutely none, so it's going to take a lot of adjustments.

Here's the sink all clean :) (sorr the placement of this photo is all screwed up, I don't know how to fix the darn thing!)

Here's the rest of the bathroom. We have boxes in the windows because we haven't had time to get blinds up. The clawfoot is finally all installed and ready to use. That also didn't happen until Friday. I'll post more pics of that all done later. It's gorgeous!

Here's our room. I am so in love with it! It's not done, I have more pillows to add and stuff but we have never had a nice bed, or really even a bedroom before. Previously, Our room had the washer and dryer in it, with no closets so our room was basically one big walk in crazy closet. Now we have a closet and the washer/dryer is enclosed.

Here is our new sofa. This room used to be our office, it connects with the kitchen and livingroom so we decided to turn it into the familyroom and we are loving it!

We have so much more to do, but we are so happy to be home. I was gone Thursday through Saturday with Amanda for Generation Unleashed...that was awesome, and will write more about that later, but it's left the house in total chaos. We spent five hours at our rental yesterday and are pretty much out of there, so this week will be totally devoted to our own home and finally getting situated! Yeah!

We Are Home

It is official...we are home! Three months and five days of being away from home, but we made it! I'm sorry the blog is so deeply ignored lately. We certainly don't mean for that to happen, it has just taken a backseat to our everyday, very crazy lives.

I will try and take some pics tonight, although things are still extremely crazy in the house. There is a lot to be done. For instance, we do not have a bathtub or a bathroom faucet. We get to brush our teeth in the kitchen, and shower at grandmas. It's a lot of fun :) But, at least we are home.

I hope to put into words what this experience has been like for our family. We have all learned and grown through this process.

Hopefully there will be an update tomorrow!

Some Promised Photos

There has been a lot going on here the last few weeks, which also includes computer issues that didn't allow me to post pictures.

Once Reese and her family were over their sickness and the snow died down we were able to spend quite a bit of time together. Holly, Reese and I had dinner without the family, we had multiple family get togethers, we went to the tea parlor and had lunch, Reese was able to meet McKenzie and we went to the second hand store for books...the list goes on and on.

Here are a few fun photos. I'm sure Reese will eventually add a few of her own.

Here's Reese & Tim attacking Amanda during an exciting game of Apples to Apples :)

Reese and I at the tea parlor. Holly had been with us, but she had to run back to work. I think she just didn't want her picture taken

I'm sorry there are not any more photos. I uploaded these earlier in the day at work, so that's all you get for now :)

Things on the house front are moving along. We are desperate to get home. As of right now the deadline is January 31st and we've officially started the countdown. This week has shown us that the end is near. There is paint on the walls and it is beautiful. Here's a small preview.

Most of the downstairs is painted this neutral brown. I wasn't sure if I would like it or not, but I really love it. Eventually I will paint some accent walls, but for now I am thrilled with this color.

This is my new office space. I wish the pic was better. The color is a deep sage. This used to be Mark's nursery and is my favorite room in the house. I'm claiming it as my own when we get back.

Here's Mark's room. His is a much lighter sage green and by the time we get home, the pink trim will be gone :)

Can you guess who's room this is? Yep, the girls!

This is my mess up in the house. The color was my kitchen color prior to the fire and I loved it! I decided I wasn't ready to part with it and had the contractor paint my bathroom with it. I do not think this was the color of my kitchen and it's terrible! Can you guess what I am doing this weekend? Yep, I'm fixing this nasty mess! I was thinking I wouldn't have to paint during this process, but I can't let this color stay.

Next week they start installing the floors so I'll have more pictures for you then.

I have saved the best for last and if you made it this far, you get a reward. Here's McKenna and McKenzie. Aren't they amazing? McKenzie is doing awesome. I am so proud of my sister and how selflessly she cares for McKenzie. The amazing thing is that she doesn't need that much extra care compared to other newborns. She truly is our miracle.

The Good News...And, The Bad News

The good news: Reese and family are here!
The bad news: Reese, Zach and Ian are very sick and we haven't been able to see each other yet.

The other good news: We ran into Kristine and Sean in the store tonight! That was awesome! They were wandering around with Grandma & Grandpa.

Here's a little funny story. Holly was in the store tonight too. Amanda ran into Holly and Holly let Amanda know that she had seen Kristine and Sean. Amanda got so excited and asked where they were. Holly let her know to go look in the produce section. Soon Amanda ran back to Holly and says "I went to produce and can't find them anywhere, where should I look?" Holly said "Well, they were at the vegetables when I saw them a few minutes ago." Amanda's response "oh, shoot, I thought that produce was milk...I'll go look at the vegetables". And, off she ran. Thankfully, she did eventually find them.

LOL! I guess that goes to show that I haven't talked with my kids much about vegetables! Oops!

Thanks for checking in on us. I'm sorry neither of us have posted much. It's amazing how when life comes at you fast and hard that time seems to be a precious thing and not everything you love to do can be fit in. I'm really sorry, and we promise that when life calms down we will be back to some regular posts.

A small update on McKenzie: She graduated from a car bed to a car seat. She had to sit in the seat for an hour at the hospital to make sure she could handle it, and she can. She's also taking more bottles instead of the feeding tube! She loves to suck! Thanks for your prayers for her.

Baby Update

I know that I said I wouldn't do anymore updates on my life, but I can't resist updating you with this info. Baby McKenzie is coming home today! Can you believe that? I am amazed! I am amazed at where we were 3 months ago to where we are now. We still have no clue where she is at developmentally or where she is at physically, but she is well enough to come home and we will take that news and be infinitely thankful!

When I saw her last Monday she looked great, my sister looks better then I have seen her look in years. McKenzie is currently on a feeding tube, which my sister has learned to use. She does take a bottle as well, but due to the cleft pallet they don't want her using up any energy at all to eat, they want her to get as big as possible so that she can have her first mouth surgery. She had her first shunt put in the day after birth and the swelling is going down. She is responding to people around her.

Obviously we won't know the full affects of the hydrocephalus for years to come, but for now, we will just be in awe of what God has done in little McKenzie's life. The doctors are amazed at her. They said that she is so much better then they ever could have imagined.

There are no other words to say except

We Are So Thankful!

And Yet, Another House Update

A few weeks ago we were talking about our homes. I don't even remember what was said now, but I do remember mentioning my colorful kitchen and Kayren saying she'd like to see pictures. Right after I got my new camera, I took pictures of the kitchen but never posted them. I decided to post a few. When I get home, my kitchen, and the rest of the home will be changed.

Here is my colorful ceiling. It's very strange and was not planned, but I have learned to love it and I am so sad to see it go.

Luckily my cabinets have survived. I think they are original to the house, and I would be sad if they had to be ripped out.

Here are some shots from the day after the fire. The fire started in our bedroom and the next closest room is the bathroom. Look how hot it got in there, the plastic cups started to melt.

Here are our belongings in the yard. This is a very small, small portion of what was thrown away.

I have been feeling very depleted and depressed. I am working on my attitude during this process. At the beginning I was feeling very optimistic, but the last few days my attitude has been negative. I am sad that when I go home, my home will not be the way I left it. Everything will be completely different. I know that I will end up loving it, but this is a decision that has been taken out of my hands. I am nervous because the insurance company will not pay for everything so we have to figure out how to pay for new windows throughout the whole house and possibly redoing the electrical. I am working hard to be very tight with our budget, which is always a struggle for me.

So far our bedroom has been completely gutted, the bathroom and the hallway. The rest of the house has been sprayed with this strong paint stuff to prevent any smoke smell from coming through once it's been repainted. I was excited to see work started in putting our bedroom back together with some improvements. Dan took down an unusual brick wall that stuck out in the bathroom (and I loved). I was upset until I learned that because he took it down, we will now get a double sink. We only have one bathroom, so a double sink will be awesome. This weekend we will also rip out some really nasty paneling going up our stairs, so I am starting to see some improvements that I will love and am working on embracing the process.

Tomorrow we move into a house. A three bedroom, 2 bathroom house. A house that will allow us to bring in our two dogs and two of our cats. I am anxious about this move because we will be living in close quarters with my boss' best friend and I am just hoping that things go well. It's in their family orchard so it will be interesting. Last I heard we will be out of our home until January 31st.

Sorry this has been such a long post. Thanks to those of you that have made it through. I promise that next week I will work on posting on something besides my house!

P.S. I am so sorry the format is so off, I went back to try and change it, but for some reason, it is not cooperating!

Another Update

I hope you guys don't mind if I just keep updating you. Right now the only things I can think to post about are my house and McKenzie.

I hate that I am away from my sister and the baby. I haven't been talking to Bethany much because she says she cries when she talks to me. She's very homesick and I can't get to her right now. It tears my heart out that I'm not with them. The plan always was that I would be there. I did learn that the fluid is definitely going down on her brain. I'm not sure if I shared this or not, but she can hear. They have put a feeding tube into her so that she doesn't have to struggle to eat. The doctors are very happy with her progress so far.

As far as the house goes, I am exhausted and overwhelmed. We are sick of living in a hotel, and starting to get on each other's nerves. I think on Friday we will move into a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house and we are so excited about that. Yesterday we were able to finish moving out of the house so now it's just a matter of letting the various crews do their jobs.

I guess that's about all I have as far as updates. Prayers for McKenzie and are family are much appreciated! Thanks guys!

I Have Internet!

I have internet! My boss let me borrow one of his laptops and I am so excited!

I have so much to tell you but will give you a very quick rundown.

First of all, yes, McKenzie is here! She is in Portland and is doing very well. She had her shunt surgery and already the swelling is going down. We do know that she can hear and that is a blessing. She is moving around and follows the sound of your voice when you talk to her. Unfortunately, due to all my house issues I am unable to be with her. My sister is doing well. She is with McKenzie.

Our house issues are moving along. We will probably be out of our home for 3 months. It's starting to take it's toll on everyone and we are all exhausted. We probably have about an hour worth of work to do tomorrow and then the house will be out of our hands. We actually had to throw away about 90% of our belongings.

Anyway, that's the short of where we are right now. I have to head to bed, but will make sure that I update more later. Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers.

Thank you!

Hey girls! I'm here..for a moment anyway. I just stopped into work to get a few things done.

First of all, thank you! I can't tell you how much your love, support and prayers mean to me. I have not been able to be on a computer much since Saturday. I have been able to check on the blog through Mark's PSP, but I can't do much with that.

We are doing okay. I do need prayer today. I feel like Dan and I are starting to get really stressed which is hard for us. We don't always deal with stress well. Please pray that we continue to have grace with each other through this difficult time.

We are living at a hotel. At first I was really mad about that, but I have grown occustomed to it and actually enjoy it a little. We have a two bedroom suite with huge living area. Someone comes in and makes our beds and cleans up after us! It's really great!

I am drained today. At this point we are finishing up emptying the house. All the contents of the entire house have to be removed. 90% of the items in the house have to be itemized and listed for throwing away. Yesterday I went through our bathroom and I have about 7 pages, front and back, single spaced, of items we had to throw out. Today, it's the kids' rooms. I'm having a hard time with that. The insurance company wants me to throw their whole rooms out and start over. I just can't do that. I have to go through it. So, today it's my precious kids' rooms.

I know Reese told you that I have been without a voice. That has been so frustrating because I can't ask questions or communicate. Yesterday my voice started to come back and I'm so thankful.

People keep asking how are we making it through this and I can tell you that at my darkest moments I realize that I could be barying a child, and then, it's not so bad anymore. My family is safe, our animals are safe. We did not lose any pictures. It could have been much, much worse!

I also know that God is with us, I know that he is uplifting us, providing with amazing friends around us, and sustaining us. We are going to be fine. In the end, I'm hoping for a nicer and safer home, it's just getting through all this terrible junk to get there.

I don't know when I'll be back. I'm coming back to work on Monday. If I can get back on the computer before then, I will. We meet with our General Contractor today and find out exactly how much of the house has to be redone.

I'm not going to go back and proof this, I need to get back to the house. If Reese finds any major errors, she can fix it :)

Love you. Heather

An Update, An Elaboration & A Ramble

Update:

Some of you may remember this post. Well...you will never believe it! I have lost my keys..AGAIN! We are talking major lost! They have been gone since Saturday. I begged my husband to take my suburban key off his key ring so that I could actually drive my car. But, I don't have a house key or anything else. And, if I loose this one lone key to my car, we are in big trouble! I need to find my keys.

An Elaboration:

In the comments section of this post Reese mentions that I should elaborate more on the story. So, here is the rest of the story (I hope it's not too offensive, it's my daughter and she's crazy!)

Tonight I took Amanda to the store to buy a deck of cards. She comes out and says "The cheapest cards were the breast cancer cards. So, I bought those and 10% of money will go to help the breast people".

I said that's really nice. Then she goes on to say "I'm all about people not having big boobs". So, I said "You mean, you think breast cancer is when you have big boobs?". She said "yes, it's for big and deformed boobs and then people have to have surgery so they can get smaller boobs, I'm all about smaller boobs".

I didn't think she was serious...but, guess what...she was!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On a more serious note, I'm excited to read the book that Reese mentioned below. Adoption and helping Orphans are something I am passionate about. I hope to adopt one day, we'll see if it ever plans out but it's something I'm very open too. If the Lord opens the hearts of those around me and removes the obstacles in our way, I would love to move forward in that. Sometimes I get very discouraged about not adopting but lately I have been praying that the Lord would show me what I can do while I wait for the adoption to happen. It may never happen, I'm still not 100% sure that it's what our family is meant to do, but there must be something that I can do while I'm waiting.

I would really appreciate prayer for my 9 year old son Mark. He is really struggling in school, I'm struggling to find answers and feeling rather helpless. These are issues that we have been dealing with since I came home from Germany back in September. It seems it shouldn't take a whole school year to get some of this stuff figured out.

Posted by Heather

I'm Back....I Hope!

I've returned from the land of the living dead. That's really how I felt. I ended up having at least two rounds of the flu and a sinus infection, and then once I got on antibiodics I had a bad reaction to those and had to go off them. I managed to take them for three days and am feeling much better so I think I'm finally headed in the right direction. If I had my way I'd still be taking a 3 hour nap every afternoon, but for some odd reason some people think I need to work! :)

Now I'm back to work, my desk is piled high and here I am blogging. I'm great at procrastinating and making bad decisions! :)

I wanted to just give you a quick note letting you know I am back. I received a wonderful handwritten letter from Reese. I haven't received a handwritten letter in years from anyone and loved reading it. She is without internet for awhile but I think she may be back on next week. I am attempting to write her back, but it's not working out too well. My handwriting looks like I've worked in a law office far too long!

More Prayers Please

I feel like this blog is turning into "Heather's Whine Fest". My family is really sick. We are not the only ones going through this. Apparently there were 9 missing from my son's class today. My son still has a fever and headaches, my oldest also is enduring a bad cough and head ache, I have a horrible cough and no voice...trust me, the list goes on and on. The school informed me today that this sickness drags on for weeks. You may think your child is okay, send them to school and by mid day their fever spikes up again and they are sent home.

I talked with my doctor today and was informed that this lasts about 3 weeks and frequently turns into pneumonia or bronchitis.

Well, I am done. My poor children are done. They can't miss so much school, I'm missing a lot of work, this is just overwhelming.

Anyway...see what I mean about my whine fest!

I'm going to take a little blog break (I think) but will be back when my family is well and I can think clearly enough to blog about something not as depressing as my family right now. Hopefully my next post will be about the wedding and the time spent on the mountain. It really was a highlight for me, one that I am not sure how to put into words, but I will try.

AMAZING!

That is the only word for the wedding and the 36 hours around it. I got home at midnight last night and had to drive through a blizzard to get here, but I made it. I'm not going to recap now, I'm still sick and pretty drained. I took cold medicine so I'm pretty loopy. It was an honor to be in this wedding and I had a great time.

I can't wait to see the pictures, they took some pretty creative shots. If the bride lets me, I will share a few here.

A Few Days....

Our blog may be ignored for a few days. We want to post everyday in 2008 and so far we are off to a great start. We have posted 57 times already and there have only been 53 days..so, techinically we are a few days ahead.

I am headed out tomorrow morning to go to my friends wedding. She's getting married on beautiful Mt. Hood. I am destined to be freezing, but hey, whatever the girl wants...there is NO DOUBT how beautiful it will turn out.

I am assuming that Reese does not have internet access right now. I have not heard from her since the 15th. I am missing her terribly. Anyway, unless Reese suddenly re-appears then I will not be posting until Sunday.

Thanks so much for your prayers. I am feeling much better, I sound horrible but feel better. Two of my kids were home sick today and I'm hoping we are all better by Saturday. The girls are coming to the wedding with my mom and Mark is staying home with Dad for a boys day..so, we all have big plans and all need to be feeling much better!

Have an incredible weekend!

Post by Heather