Would You Like a Little Tofu With That Whine?

So what exactly is it that they say about the best laid plans? I think all I've ever heard is "Well, ya know what they say about the best laid plans!...." and (after a mocking chuckle and a shake of the head) "...the best laid plans.....". Personally, if I felt I needed a strong basis for the argument to never plan anything, I'd use James 4:13-16.

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil.

Being a mist and all, it was probably a bad idea to decide what to make for dinner ahead of time. Of my planned dinners- and this being Wednesday night now- I have made......none. Nada. Not one. Desserts? Nope.

And Monday should have been easy; all I needed to do is defrost the soup I made last week, chop a few veggies, skip the beggar's purses, and butter a few pieces of bread. It's not much, it's certainly not fancy, but it's dinner. Unfortunately, there were a few kinks in the path to a warm tasty dinner on Monday.

The first bump in the road was realized when I rolled over in bed to thank my alarm clock for the 6 am wake up by whacking it in the head. Simply rolling from my left side to my right sent shoots of dull, oppressive pain running through my joints and muscles. My head felt like a fish bowl filled with manky water and big, loose rocks and it seemed that a rodent of some sort had lodge itself in my throat. Swallowing was very near impossible. Every step from the third floor down to the kitchen felt like I was hobbling out of surgery where I'd just been stitched up. It was hideous.

I consider myself to be a moderately strong woman. I'm no Corrie ten Boom, but with time I usually come to grips with tough situations and can take it. No cold/flu can get the best of me! All you really need to know is that in order to endure my load I have to let off steam. Usually that means talking it through regularly (poor Heather knows all about this one- she's most often my ear), but if opening my mouth hurts I'm going to have to vent my frustrations in a more primitive way. Uh-huh. I'm gonna cry.

And cry.

And cry some more.

Then I'll wipe all the tears away and toss the Kleenex in the bin. I'll tighten the belt on my robe, pull up my sleeves and start making The Boys' lunches...... and then I'll cry, maybe even having to throw the soggy bread out and start over with the lunches.

I might even sob a couple times before the Tylenol kicks in.

And then the pain lifted and I was me again. The rest of the morning was normal, except that Ian had an appointment with the allergist. Poor boy got poked and pricked, stuck and squeezed. In the end, it looks like he's still allergic to milk and now we've added peanuts, peas, walnuts, shell fish, and cashews. Uh-oh. There's the vegan version of cream in the corn chowder we're having for dinner, and it's made from- you guessed it- cashews. Bump #2.

Not that it mattered. I made it out of the allergy clinic and down to the pharmacy before I fully realized my pain relievers had worn off. I sat in a chair that had a magical gravitation pull and found that all my limbs had quadrupled in weight, which could only mean that I'd have to die in the chair. I managed to phone Tim to set up weekly visits and the occasional sponge bath when the chills and tears started.

Someone must have been in the back of the pharmacy, watching me and switching the heat off and on, just to see me go from shivering violently under my thick winter coat, to throwing it off and pulling my trousers legs up to my knees to release some heat so that I didn't catch fire. All the while crying, my tears feeling either like hot lava or ice water depending on what the sneaky pharmacy heat guy was doing.

By the time all my mascara was smudged into a tissue and smeared around my eyes, I remembered that an emergency room was just at the end of the hall. I thought if I could break free of the the gravity I might try crawling there, maybe grabbing a nap on the way. Just as I'd gathered my strong womanly resolve to follow my plan, Tim arrived and escorted me to my van, where I took more Tylenol and threw in a Motrin for good measure. Half an hour later I had returned and the shivering, crying lady was gone.

Too bad for the family, she came back right about the time I should have been making dinner. It's still not clear what Kristine made for dinner, but I suspect it was here specialty: mac 'n cheese from a box. Put differently, Zach and Ian couldn't/wouldn't eat dinner that night. Nice. While mom slept. Really nice. NOT!

I am happy to report that the chills and aches are gone and it's only a sore throat and ears that bother me now. Still not sticking to my menu plan, not through today, anyway. But, to quote another strong and whiny woman, "Tomorrow is another day"!

And, yes, I will take a bit of tofu with my whine. Thank you.

My life has been very typically My Life: chaotic, unplanned and flying by at an insane pace. Seriously, where does the time go? Where is all the time that was supposed to be available to me once all my kids were in school?

A very strong and convincing case could be made that if I was more organized/scheduled/Type A/anal I could get much more done. Yeah, yeah. I know. But where's the fun in that? On the other hand, where's the stress in that? Likely, nowhere at all.

So, I'm going to try to schedule my time better. And post it here so that I can be transparent...accountable...waste more time doing something other than what I'm supposed to be doing...

So, first things first: My Goals:

• Make some money
• Keep my house somewhat organized
  
• Develop my photography skills
• Read more
• Spend time baking and cooking and blogging about it (more on that later)
• Volunteer for the homeless, needy, etc.

How I plan to accomplish this:

• Organize my days, balancing what needs to be done with what I want to do

This week will be my trial-and-error week. I'll chronicle my attempts at whipping my life into shape and examine what works and what doesn't. I'd appreciate any constructive input from the more organized of my readers.

Warning: Not only am I very unorganized, I am also chock-full of good intentions that lead to nowhere. Only time will tell if that's what this post is all about or if I will finally change my bad girl ways. LOL!

A Ramble

I've been falling down on my job. I was supposed to post on Wednesday but after work I headed to Portland to take a photography class with a friend. I didn't get home til 11:30 at night. I had every intention of doing a post, but when I got home I found out the kids had let the laptop die and I just didn't feel like messing with it. Terrible excuse, I know. Other than that, things have just been typical summer crazy.

I've decided to just ramble tonight. I'm super excited for the 4th. Normally I really don't care, I'm not a big fireworks person but this year I've talked my whole family into going to a town nearby that has a good fireworks show. I can't wait to watch my nieces (ages 3 and 4) get their first real taste of fireworks. I'm sure they will be in awe. What about you guys? Do you have any plans? Do you have any 4th of July traditions?

McKenzie is all healed from her surgeries, and looks great. I can't get enough of this smile, and she freely gives them out!

We are starting to gear up for our camping trips. I can't wait! I am taking the kids camping on July 10th and Dan will join us on the 11th and we will stay until the 13th. We love to camp and it's such a great way for our family to reconnect. Dan works completely opposite schedules from the kids and I and even though we do get to see each other we don't spend good quality time together. Then we will be home for a couple of weeks and leave August 2nd for the beach. This will be the first time that we try camping at the beach but we've heard of a great place to go and I can't wait to give it a try.

I hope you all have an amazing fourth!! Have fun with your families!!

Mama's Heart

Last night McKenna started showing me all of her first grade, year end stuff - you know, the backpacks filled with all the wonderful miscellaneous paperwork. Most of the items will have to be thrown away, but she stumbled upon a priceless treasure for me. It was her first grade journal, complete with photos that the teacher added in. The thing for me was that as I looked through these photos and saw her bright smiling face, I also saw the sadness in her eyes. I usually measure the year by the school year, not the actual year, and this school year has been filled with so much sadness. I almost cried as I looked through those photos. I knew she was trying so hard to put up a good front, but I also knew how sad she had been most of the year. The house fire was hard on her. She likes her structure and she was definitely out of her element this year. She was very successful academically so I'm thankful that all of the obstacles didn't bring her down. I know that this only helped to shape her character.

As I was looking through her photos I was thinking about Amanda and Mark. They are both graduating on this year. Amanda to her first year of high school, and Mark onto his first year at the middle school. Their first grade years were also difficult. During Amanda's first grade year, I unexpectedly found out I was pregnant with McKenna. Normally that would not have been a big deal as my first two pregnancies were great. However, McKenna had a different plan. Her pregnancy was by far my hardest and Amanda had to deal with a mom that wasn't really "with it" for nine months. Mark's first grade year was the hardest ever. That was the year that James passed away. Thankfully Mark had the best teacher at the school. She happened to be my teacher for third grade and Amanda also had her for first grade. I remember the week after James died and we were all starting to go back to work and school. I walked in with tears streaming down my face. I felt like I was abandoning my children. She came right out with big hugs and wrapped both Mark and I in her arms and told us how much she loved us and that she would take good care of Mark and call me immediately if I was needed. I know he was in an angels' arms that year.

This mama's heart feels a little sad this evening for the hardships my kids have endured. They have come out stronger, but I hate they have had to go through them. If I put it in perspective they really haven't been through alot. However, they have endured more then I did at their ages. The situations they have been through are ones that I have not had to deal with until adulthood. I do know that they are more compassionate, loving and kind. They are accepting of others and their surroundings. I'm thankful for who they are and know that God has an important plan for each one of them and that their childhood experiences will help shape them for that.

It's getting dark and the kids are coming back in so I'm logging off for now. I know I could write this better, but I'm going to leave it "as is" and go hang out with them.

Grief is like water.

It comes in waves, like you've always heard, crashing and receding and pounding out of your control. Sit on the edge of the water on the beach and see if the waves stop lapping and splashing at your feet. They don't. Ever.

But grief is also like water in that sometimes you move past it, you go on with life and you think you're okay until you realize that your mascara is running down your face and the book you're holding is drenched. Then you notice the ultra fine mist that is falling on you. It's the slightest twinge of pain, now that you've noticed it, constant but undemanding.

Grief is like a shallow pool, deceptively calm, with jagged rocks just below the surface. Step in just the wrong way, at the wrong speed or without proper protection and you'll find yourself nursing an open wound again. Under some circumstances, it's possible to drown in a few inches of water.

Grief is the deep sea, without a floor or anything solid within reach, pressure mounting on all sides without the luxury of a moment to examine, consider, take a breath. It stretches out as far as the eye can see, sounds of an ear-bursting roar and fills the nose when all you want to do is breath in air. It overwhelms you when you're in it, but to those on the safety of land or in a boat, the danger seems minimal.

Grief, like water, can cleanse, it can purge, or a person can drown in it.

A Small Thank You

I am afraid this will turn into some kind of rambling post, but these things have been on my heart for awhile. After three weeks of total chaos our family has settled into our new sense of normalcy. It's a completely new normal, but it still feels good.

Some things thankfully have not changed like the fact that we are still surrounded by our amazing friends and family. My parents really do try and support us in everything we do. My mom does daycare and takes care of my kids and I don't really have to rely on other people that much. The week of the fire my sister also had her beautiful baby 6 weeks early and my mom ended up spending a week away from home to be with her. What I learned during that week, and have learned during the weeks after, is that I can count on my friends as much as I can count on my mom. Don't get me wrong, I knew that before, but I know that even more now. It was awesome to see as our house was on the fire the people that came to surround us. We have never felt alone during this process.

People have brought us food, clothed us, housed us, watched our children, prayed, helped with insurance paperwork, listened as we cried, called us to make sure we were fine. The list goes on. I can't even begin to write all that has happened. People that I don't even know have stepped forward and gave whatever was on their heart.

I can't tell you how thankful we have been. I can't tell you what a blessing it has been to read your comments of love to our family. I have learned a lot during this process. I know that if this had happened 10 years ago, or even 5 years ago, this could have had the potential to destroy my marriage. We are mature enough now to not fight about it and to just know that we have our children and each other. We didn't lose anything of real value because we have each other.

I know that God is with us. I know that he has a bigger plan in this situation. In fact, I know this had to happen. Our house predates the 1900s. Can I even begin to list the problems with our home that needed upgrading? We didn't have the money to fix them and some of them were major safety issues. In fact, since our bathroom had to be gutted we even learned that our bathroom wall wasn't attached to the house! All of our housing issues are being addressed. New wiring, new windows, new insulation, new heating, new paint, new walls, wired in smoke detectors...I'm not kidding, the list goes on. I am sad that when we move back, in some ways it will be a different house but it will be a much safer home and a home we don't have to worry about.

So, I just really wanted to thank you guys. I appreciate your love for my family, your comments and your prayers.

M.I.A. - A Rambling Post!

I looked and the last time I actually posted was September 23rd, I didn't even participate in Know and Tell Friday last week. I was having some computer issues at home and I started KATF and about half way through, my computer kicked me off. I was so angry that I didn't try again. We have a lot of pets and I was excited to participate but, oh well. Our coolest pet is my Russian Tortoise, Crikey. I'm a huge Steve Irwin fan and my birthday is next week, about a month from the death of Steve Irwin, so the year he was killed, I fell in love with this tortoise and hubby bought him for me. He has the best personality. When I come in the house and he hears me talk, he'll wake up and come look for me. I love it!

Here's my baby:

I have to be honest that a lot of the times I post at work. I know, that's a big no-no huh? My boss is a lawyer and he decided to become the City Prosecutor which "wouldn't have any effect on my work load", according to him. Let me tell you, my work load has more than doubled, which leaves me not having time to email or post. When I get home, it's a fight for the computer, and truthfully, I don't want it after being on it for 8 hours. I need to do a better job because Reese has been carrying the load of the blog, and she's doing an awesome job.

I laughed so hard when Liz made her comment about me sounding like Kate, on John and Kate Plus 8, because of my camera issues. That is one of my favorite shows and I didn't realize how much I have been complaining about my camera. My camera is such an issue that I have quit posting at our family blog and quit taking pics because I am so frustrated. I have complained so much that hubby looked at me the other day and told me to buy myself a new camera so that he can get some peace about it! LOL! So Liz, it worked! I am in the market for a new camera. Have you seen all the cute lime green and pink ones out there??? I mean, that is all there is to decide right..which is the cutest color? I'm having a hard time choosing! Any good suggestions?

I am so impressed with us and this blog. Reese and I have dabbled in blogging together for several years and when we decided to start a new one during her last trip home, our one goal was to blog every day for one year. Well as of today we have 352 posts, that's 13 posts away from a year's worth of posts in just 9 months! How amazing is that! I can't tell you how much we love Kicking It In Crazyville and we have met so many wonderfully kind and compassionate women. We feel so blessed to have you guys visit our blog, to give us a few minutes of your busy daily lives and to communicate your thoughts and feelings to us. It's more then we could have hoped for.

On that note, I am done with my ramble...oh, so, what color do you think Reese's hair is??? I wonder when she will tell us!!! She's off in slumber land now, but hopefully after she starts her day, she'll do a big reveal! :) hint...hint!

Venting My Frustrations

No matter how much those of us who stay home with children try to change our title- SAHM, domestic engineer, household engineer, home manager, etc- the bottom line is that the job doesn't change. I'm still a housewife. A wife at the house. The one who does the dishes, changes the diapers, makes the meals, chauffeurs the kids here and there, changes the sheets, wipes down the counters and cleans the same adorable hands and faces countless times in a day.

Having been home with my kids the better part of 14 1/2 years, there is very little of this job left to surprise me. The joys of the job are trumpeted by most, the day-to-day difficulties of organizing and toilet training are well-covered by both experts and moms who have become experts by trial-and-error, but the difficulties some of us find in the actual staying home aren't often talked about. I think it's because most SAHM's see it as a blessing, even when it's difficult. To vocalize that we find it hard would make us targets for working moms who want to be home and can't. And I've seen it from both sides: not only have I been home with my kids but I worked for several years and felt the sting of dropping my kids off at daycare and preschool, into the hands of people who did their jobs for a living and didn't love my kids. I heard the cries of my babies while the knowledge that I had to turn away so I wouldn't be late to work weighed heavily on me. I spent many frustrated days wanting nothing more than to shed the skirt and heels and be home in sweats with my children.

I've found myself in a place I was sure I'd never be. I saw my mom here, twenty years ago. I saw the draw of other things, things done less for kids and more for herself. I wanted to kiss the last "baby" good-bye at his wedding and feel the urge to have another baby so it wouldn't be over. (There are people like that out there!) But instead, I'm getting ready to kiss my youngest good-bye at the preschool door, and my mind is already wandering to other things- to the college classes I never took, to the book left unwritten for years, to the hobbies I never had time for.

I find myself longing for a simpler life. There are too many things cluttering my house. Two days ago I had to fight a nearly overwhelming urge to throw out half the stuff in my kitchen. As I write this I begin to wonder if fighting it was the right thing to do. The stuff weighs me down. It clutters my mind as well as my counters. And in a season where I'm feeling bogged down in too many ways, I don't need that.

I guess I need to lighten my load. I want home to be an anchor in an ever shifting world, but not a weight. Somehow, staying home has begun to feel like a weight.

In the midst of all this, I am aware that I am blessed. My kids are healthy and growing to know God. My husband works hard and loves us all. I have a roof over my head and food in the cupboard. We can afford gas. As the Rachel Lampa song "Blessed" says:

I am blessed, I am blessed
From when I rise up in the morning
Til I lay my head to rest
I feel You near me
You sooth me when I'm weary
Oh Lord, for all the worst and all the best
I am blessed

All for HIS glory, In HIS timing,

Too Kind!

You guys are too kind! I did a massive mathematical error and you guys never called me out on it! Amanda just got home and saw the blog for the first time (which she was super excited about - her response was "Mom, that's you..and, Darice...and, there's you!")

Anyway, she totally caught me on the error...$5 a day for one year is $1,825 - not $730! What a dork! LOL!

Everything Matters

Many of you know that I read The Shack a few months ago and it had a profound affect on my life and my way of thinking. I'm still trying to figure that all out. I was blessed enough to be part of a study that my mom's church did on this book. We had the opportunity to talk about forgiveness, anger, how to be helpful when others are going through extreme pain plus many more topics.

Tonight was the last night of the study and we went over a certain quote. I think, as mothers' this quote is insightful and helpful. I meant to share it when I was reading it before but there were so many things I wanted to share that I let it slip.

At the end of the book the main character is asking the Holy Spirit if his life matters. He basically states that all he does is work and take care of his family, nothing else. Hmmm, that sounds familiar in my world.

This is the Holy Spirit's answer:

"If anything matters then everything matters. Because you are important, everything you do is important. Every time you forgive, the universe changes; every time you reach out and touch a heart or a life, the world changes; with every kindness and service, seen or unseen, my purposes are accomplished and nothing will ever be the same again."

How profound is that? Everything we do matters. Our routines seem so ordinary, so boring, so very unimportant. Think about it though. Think how miserable your child would be if you didn't change their diaper. To that baby, something that you may be so tired of doing, it means the world.

I want to be more conscious of that as I go through my day to day life. I think I tend to be on auto pilot most of the time instead of being purposeful in my actions. God thinks we are important, glorious even. I think that alone is reason to love those I come in contact with.

Some Ramblings and a Prayer Request

This week has been C-R-A-Z-Y! Last Wednesday was McKenna's sixth birthday, and then Monday was Amanda's 13th! This poor mama cried the entire day. Poor Amanda, she took it well. Everyone thought I was upset about feeling old. I'm not sure what that's all about, but I certainly wasn't crying about that. I'm not sure where the time went, or how Amanda got to be 13. She's such a great girl. Of course, we have our moments, but overall, I could not ask for a better girl. She's respectful, understanding, compassionate and kind. I am so lucky to be her mom.

Here is another crazy story for you! A few weeks ago we talked to a guy about putting in a new fence, but never gave the go ahead. Dan woke up the other day and said "That's so strange, I had a dream that I ran a few errands and when I got home that fencing guy had ripped out our fence". I took the kids to school, he went to run errands. He called me a few hours later and said "Uh, you remember my dream? They ripped out our fence!". Yep, the guy showed up, assuming we wanted the fence, and took it out. Dan's brother in law, a pastor, had these words of advice "Next time God gives you a dream like that, act on it before your fence gets ripped out" LOL! Everything has worked out and we love our new fence.

And now the prayer request. I have been thinking for about 4 weeks now that I needed to ask for prayer on this. I don't even know where to start. On May 15, 2003, a beautiful baby boy was born into our family. Little James. I have written a little about James here and there. He is my nephew. When James was 3 months old he was diagnosed with a genetic disorder called Menkes. We didn't know about this disorder. I had a baby brother who passed away at the age of 5 months. We always thought he had died of other causes. Menkes is so rare, that it was unheard of in 1979. We were told James would not live out the year. He would never walk, never talk, be mentally retarded. The list goes on and on. The doctors were wrong about a lot of things. James never walked, but he talked in his own way. He did live out the year, in fact, he lived to be 19 months. He was a blessing, and continues to be one every day.

The prayer request is this. Menkes is an X Chromosome disorder. It is passed from the mother to the son. If you are a carrier of this disease, you have a 50% chance of your son having this disease. There is no cure. My other sister is 11 weeks pregnant, and she too is a carrier of this terrible disease. Her and her husband decided to try and have one child on their own. They understand the risk. Today my sister went and took a special test. Tomorrow we find out what the baby is. If it's a girl, they will quit the test, the baby will not be born with Menkes. If it is a boy, they will let us know and then in 2 weeks we will find out if the baby is healthy or not. It's important to know if the baby has Menkes prior to birth because there are some medications out there that help the quality of life.

Tonight at my bible study we looked a little at this verse. Isaiah 54:10. "Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken, nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

My prayer is that whatever lies ahead, that His covenant of peace will not be removed from our family, especially my sister.

Thank you for your prayers. As soon as I hear tomorrow what the tests say, I will do an update on the blog.

-Heather

Another Day, Another Ramble

Some days I wake up and find that three posts have already lodged themselves in my brain and are banging around in there, anxious to get typed out. Other days, it's nearing bedtime and I'm still trying to think of something interesting to say.

I've been known to skip around the internet looking for nifty tidbits to pass on; I'd let you know my usual cyber route but then you'd have no need to come back to Crazyville. Today I only came across a few items of interest, and they weren't brilliant: the lost parrot who told the vet his address, the bull that ran through the back door of a German family's home and reeked havoc before running out the front door. Odd, maybe, but nothing to write home about.

So, I thought I'd ramble about absolutely nothing for a bit.

I'm all into Zip It purses at the moment. My daughter came home from school, all excited about this odd purse, so I bought her a smallish sized one and one she uses as a school book bag. (eBay is my favorite place to find them.) Then, I grabbed hers one day as I was heading out the door to the park... and didn't give it back until my own came in the mail last night.


Cute, eh?! It unzips into a long zipper. I'm thinking it's the perfect purse to travel with, as I always struggle to keep my purse flat enough in my suitcase until I get to my destination and take it out again. Unfortunately, it doesn't double as a bra.

I recently finished The Last Chinese Chef and was pleasantly surprised by the read. I learned more about gourmet Chinese cuisine than I had ever known before, and the story line was interesting. The picture on the front cover is what initially caught my attention at the library; sometimes the cover art isn't much of an indication of the substance inside (I think I just rewrote a famous saying), so I'm happy to report that it was a good book.

One thing I took away from the book is how eating in China is always done in a group, in a communal way and that both casual and formal relationships are forged and solidified with the tradition of eating together. I felt challenged to recommit to family dining, especially weekend breakfasts- which our family finds immense pleasure in. So, off I went to find a griddle to replace the one I left in Germany. I found an Emerilware Cast Iron Double Griddle and love it! I made a big weekend breakfast for the first time last Saturday since moving to England. Here is the aftermath of that project:

We were all full and happy, enjoying each other's company. We even left the tablecloth on and used the nice British placemats (which are just like seriously oversized coasters with cork on the underside). On Sunday, I flipped the griddle over to the grill side and grilled up delectable pork chops for lunch. Another satisfying family meal.

I've enjoyed listening to Ravi Zacharias' messages today on my iPod from Focus on the Family. They were entitled Why We Must Remember Parts 1, 2, 3 from April 29, 30 & May 1st. You can hear them by going to Focus on the Family, clicking on Broadcasts and browsing through the recent broadcasts. Mr. Zacharias is an inspiration every time I hear him; he is being used by God all over the world. I highly encourage you to seek out these podcasts and take a listen.

I leave you with this last thing, a verse Mr. Zacharias referenced in his message. It is Jesus speaking in John 19:14b:

"Because I live, you also will live."

That is a scripture I will be praying for several individuals in my life who need to see the life of Christ manifest in their situations. God said it. I believe it.

Bless you! Cheers.

~Reese

Random Ramblings

This past weekend we took Amanda to get a new cell phone. It was just my luck when they had "buy one get one free" with a $100 rebate. Can you say "New phone for mama?"! I was so excited! I got a lime green one! It came with such stupid ringtones that I decided to splurge and buy two for myself. I chose a Maroon 5 one for my main ringer and then this one for when Dan calls. David Cook is one of my favorites left on American Idol. Now when Dan calls, I don't want to answer because I love this version of the song. I told Dan that even when I'm mad at him, I still like him to call because the song makes me happy! LOL! (And, if I don't answer I'm busy listening to the song and will call back later)

Tonight is a sad night. I finish Season 3 of Lost. I did a quick search online and Season 4 doesn't come out until December! By the time December rolls around, I'm going to forget all the crazy things that are going on. Yikes! I need to find something else to watch, maybe Monk.

Tonight I also am joining a study from my mom's church for the book, The Shack. I am anxious to re-read this book plus get other people's opinions and thoughts. The book was so influential to me the first time around, I'm sure in a group setting I will learn even more.

Are you ever blown away by the people in your lives? Today I had the privilege of going to lunch with someone who is vital in my life. 20 years ago he was no relation to me, had no ties to me or my family, he was just someone that ended up in my life (actually, I know darn well he didn't just end up there, it was no accident that he is in my life) and I'm blown away that at age 28 when he was running his own business, starting a family of his own and very busy, he took the time to get to know a geeky 12 year old. He made a commitment to me and now, 20 years later, when he sees me and I hear "hey kiddo" I can't help but feel so very blessed!

We are getting a few more people that are becoming regular commentors on the blog. Reese and I are loving that you guys stop by, and we are enjoying reading your blogs as well. Thank you so much for stopping by to visit. I know that you are all busy and it's awesome that you spend a few minutes in crazyville with us!

I guess that's enough rambling for one night!

-Heather

If This Was An Email The Subject Would Be: Blabbity-Blab-Blab

I've been a champion time-waster this week. I'm usually somewhat motivated to get back into my routine once Monday hits and the kids go to school and Tim to work. But this week Kristine was home sick until Thursday, and that threw me off. I don't know why, but it always does.

Then, the couple we invited to dinner this evening rescheduled for next week. I had been all geared up to get the house in tip-top shape for our first real visitors since we moved in here, but with that put off for another week, the urgency fled.

So, I've spent a lot of time on eBay, listing a few items for sale. I am selling some maternity swimsuits I never used, a baby carrier, and some books. I think I'll be able to bring in about $50. I guess that makes my time on eBay fairly productive.

Also, MySpace has proven to be not only a brilliant way to stay in touch with people, but also a first rate way to wile away entire afternoons in what seems like mere minutes. Tim came across an old Christian band we loved as teenagers- VERSUS- on MySpace, and I had to follow his example and ask all the band members to be my friends. Heather was as familiar with VERSUS as Tim and I were, and she was so happy to find them on MySpace she actually switched her MySpace mood status from "lethargic" to "giddy"! (Imagine how excited she's going to be when she sees she's on the band's "top friends" list! She may not even need a Pepsi today.)

I've been baking a lot too. I've made English tea sandwich bread, olive bread, lemon cake, cupcakes, cookies. Today I made 2 loaves of Irish potato bread:




It looks a little funky because I was trying to make it look like the picture in the recipe book:


As you can see, the one in the book is Old World artistic, mine is funny looking. It's okay, though, because theirs couldn't possible have tasted better than mine. It was delicious!

I wasted a bit of time making a couple avitars of myself. That was amusing. Only, here on the blog they seem to be stuck and not doing their whole dances.



And my Mt Dew drinking one:



I am beginning to feel torn as to how to spend any free time I have. It used to be reading, then baking, then photography, now I'm still interested in all those things, but I'm also taking an interest in knitting and crocheting. I'm taking a crochet class that starts Monday. (There's also a Photoshop class and a photography class coming up that I plan to sign up for.) I started making sugar body scrubs last year- way fun and a super way to save money while getting the kind of product I want. Then, my mother-in-law, who's the one who got me interested in sugar scrubs, has sparked an interest in making jewelry. I still don't know what I'm doing, but I have taken up raiding the jewelry-making section at the on base craft store. A few days ago I made my first sterling silver and crystal earrings. They were really easy and I'm not even sure I made them correctly. (The lighting wasn't very good for this picture.)

I gave them to Kristine for her birthday. She was happy about it!

I finally got to cleaning my house today, beyond the dishes and laundry. My landlord is expected tomorrow- as every weekend- to continue working on the patio in my "garden". He always takes a couple of breaks throughout the day and comes in for a spot of tea! That, and with a few trips to the loo, he'll be in the house. Finally! A visitor to clean for!

So, that's my week in a nutshell.

And that's all I have to say about that.




~Reese

I [heart] My Clothesline

I'm in love with my clothesline. The first time I hung my clothes over my unfinished yard, I felt a deep sense of satisfaction. I was saving money on electricity by passing on the clothes dryer, and I was connecting with my pioneer roots as well. "Isn't it beautiful?" I asked Tim one Saturday morning after I'd hung the laundry. "You look like a pioneer woman out there," he remarked. "You should take a picture."

Never mind that Sean burst out with "What?! Our laundry's drying outside? It's not the Dark Ages!"

I've threatened to hang Sean and Kristine's undies out there as punishment if they ever misbehave. I think they plan to be angels.

I have to admit that I don't hang my own granny panties out. Maybe on days my prettier underpants go through the wash I'll hang those out; make the neighbors think I always were sexy panties. If anyone's taking note now, they think my little boys are the only ones in our family who wear underwear.


The only problem I have is the finicky English weather. It will be a clear sunny morning, with not a cloud in the sky, but by the time a load of laundry gets through the s-l-o-w English wash cycle it will be clouding over. By the time I get the last clothes pin on the last item of clothes the rain drops are falling.

Today was a cloudy day, with the temperatures hovering in the lower 40's and I hung 4 loads out. Seems like a lot, but considering that I have American coffee mugs bigger than my English washer, it's not much. I shivered as I savored the peace while I clipped the clothes to the line. I shivered when I went out to check their progress. I shivered as I gathered them up and took them inside. Then I shivered again as I rehung them when I realized the clothes weren't just cold, they were still damp. Ah, the joys of partaking in pioneer life!

I can't wait for summer.

Blabbety-Blab-Blab

Don't forget! It's Crazyville De-Lurking Week!

The Excuse: I'm sick

Since the weekend Tim said he was coming down with a cold, one that was creeping up on him slowly but bearing generous gifts of a soar throat, cough, runny and stuffy nose and a headache. When we woke up yesterday morning, he said he was feeling worse.

I felt perfectly well.

Until noon. Then it hit me faster than Heather downs a six pack of Pepsi: burning, swollen throat, aching muscles, stuffy nose. It lasted all day and through the night and still it rages on. I’m so, so very sleepy. If I wasn’t the sole human in charge of 2 preschoolers at the moment, I’d surely be in bed.

My favorite comfort for a cold is ginger-lemon-honey tea, made fresh in a pot and left over a tea light to be enjoyed throughout the day. I think I drank 3 pots of it yesterday, maybe 4. I’m on my second for today.

The Dastardly Deed: A Drive-By Posting, not well developed or thought out.

I’m going to ramble now. You’ve been forewarned.

1. My 8^th grader came home from school yesterday with rather shocking information: a kid in his guitar class was showing off his…. um… John Thomas. (For those of you unfamiliar with UK euphemisms, that’s a male’s outdoor plumbing.) In class, while the teacher was out of the room. What is the world coming to? I remember JB running around my high school with a fake John Thomas, but look where he ended up…jail. When I reported it to the teacher, he was speechless.

Anyone else ever experienced anything like this, either themselves or with one of their kids?

2. I’ve been thinking a lot about forgiveness. I had a dream several nights ago that someone who had hurt me in the past suddenly appeared and apologized. My heart and emotions fell in a heap and cried, though my body stood perfectly still and I couldn’t bring myself to look this person in their eyes. When I woke up I suddenly saw everything clearly: that the injury I had received from this person was less that this person didn’t care about me, but more that I saw the injury as confirmation that I was indeed the awful person I thought I was. Someone doesn’t like me. I knew I was ugly, lacking talent, a no-good friend, poor, and stupid. Now it’s confirmed. On this side of it all, it seems ridiculous that I allowed it to hurt me.

But in this revelation God has also spoken to me about forgiveness in general. That forgiveness is freely given, with a foundation of grace, not because someone else needs to be forgiven, but because I need to forgive. I NEED TO FORGIVE. The Bible tells of a person forgiven who refuses to forgive, then warns that if we aren’t willing to forgive those who have wronged us, we won’t be forgiven by God. That’s motivation in itself to forgive, but it goes deeper. I need to forgive to move on, to heal, and to embrace my life and my Lord without being weighted down by my past. For the first time in my life I feel that it’s impossible that I not forgive those who have hurt me.

And with that, I’ve been set free of so many chains of the past. My heart is lighter and I feel joy. I have committed to pray daily for several people who come to mind that have caused me pain in the past. I pray that God blesses them as he has blessed me.

3. I’ve been reminded that when I believe God it doesn’t matter how I feel. Have you ever prayed for, say, healing and kept praying till you felt like it might happen? Or prayed for forgiveness until you felt forgiven? How often we try to conjure up the emotions that we think we should feel when asking God for something, eh? But the reality is that God makes promises to us (By His stripes we are healed. We have only to ask and we are forgiven and the offense is forgotten forever, etc.), and they are true no matter if our emotions line up with those promises or not. There isn’t any part of a promise made by God that I am obligated to fulfill. How awesome is that?!

4. Now that I’m sick and should be avoiding all things bad for my body, I am craving cake, pie, cookies, pudding, Peanut M&M’s, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups (my favorites, of course!), those yummy nougat pecan rolls from Christmas, banoffee pie, Triple The Ginger Cookies. If only I could keep my eyes open to read a recipe…

5. I was giddy with excitement a couple of weeks ago when Tim told me about Hulu dot com, a new site where we can see a bunch of tv shows with really good quality picture. Then I was way bummed when I discovered that I can't watch any of them here in the UK. I saw Lost season 4 slip right through my finger tips and shatter on my bedroom floor. Then Tim came home bearing good tidings of another site where I could watch Lost, Watch TV Sitcoms dot com. I spent my sick day yesterday divided between cat naps, reading, and watching 3 episodes of Lost and 2 episodes of House. I'm absolutely convinced that if Jack knew me (and I was single) he'd dump beautiful Kate in favor of me (or if I could just get an interview with JJ Abrams he'd hire me for a staring roll on the spot). I'm also quite sure that Dr House would hire me in an instant, if I was actually a doctor. Ah, the joys of escaping reality.

6. I call my four year-old both "Dude", "Bub" and "Bud." Somehow, since I've been sick, I keep mixing them up,combining them, and calling him "Boob". This has got to stop.

~Reese, who begs your forgiveness if she made any major boo-boos in her post and asks you to try to make sense of those things she wrote that didn't make sense. (Did that make sense?...)

So Wags The World Away

In my opinion, there are two sorts of people who listen to classical music: those who are naturally calm and sedate, and those who need to be. I fall into the latter class, as anyone who knows me will tell you. My mind races, that's the bottom line. But all that racing in my brain takes its toll on my body: I struggle with insomnia, tense muscles, headaches, TMJ, and blood pressure that seems to be ever-so-slightly higher every time I see my doctor. I believe that at the root of this problem is a lack of trust in God's arms to save and keep me. The Bible is chock full of promises that The Lord is my provider, my refuge, my strong tower, the Prince of Peace, the calm in the midst of my personal storm. Burying that truth so deeply in my spirit that it is as much a reality as dirty dishes is my goal. As I work toward total surrender of my cares to Jesus, I take steps to alleviate the physical symptoms of my spiritual problem.

My newest anti-stress tool: classical music. Listening to it in the car makes me feel like I'm in a Bronte novel. The heroine, of course. My heart rate slows, my breathing is deeper and slower, the kids even calm down. It's great. The classical station I listen to is Classic FM and I've opened an account with them so I can use their My Classic FM option and listen while I'm surfing the internet or reading. (The only problem with listening online is when I go to a site that has music playing. Then I'm forced to choose. Earlier in the week when I came across Tea With Tiffany, I chose her music over mine. Check it out, you may decide to do what I did and stay on her page just for some beautiful worship music!)

Listening to classical music is new for me. I used to see it as something old people listened to. Wow; have I changed... or maybe I just got old. Still, it's change for me. But as I look over my life, I'm surprised at all the changes that have overtaken me.

For example, yesterday found me sitting in a little old coffee shop in a small English town, eating a traditional English breakfast and sipping tea. As I sat there, across from Tim, it occurred to me how differently our lives have turned out, so far. We've gone from starry-eyed high school kids to an old married, world-traveling military couple with four kids and two mini-vans. The only things left of our former- or imagined future- lives is the things of our heart; the dreams we had that stemmed from the gifts God gave us. I still want to write, Tim still wants to play and record music. We still love our friends and family, even more so than we did in our youth.

The point of this post? We change. We stay the same. We grow. We move to the wrong side of the world. Tim's beloved hair starts to fall out. I take up listening to Yo Yo Ma. So wags the world away.

posted by Reese

An Update, An Elaboration & A Ramble

Update:

Some of you may remember this post. Well...you will never believe it! I have lost my keys..AGAIN! We are talking major lost! They have been gone since Saturday. I begged my husband to take my suburban key off his key ring so that I could actually drive my car. But, I don't have a house key or anything else. And, if I loose this one lone key to my car, we are in big trouble! I need to find my keys.

An Elaboration:

In the comments section of this post Reese mentions that I should elaborate more on the story. So, here is the rest of the story (I hope it's not too offensive, it's my daughter and she's crazy!)

Tonight I took Amanda to the store to buy a deck of cards. She comes out and says "The cheapest cards were the breast cancer cards. So, I bought those and 10% of money will go to help the breast people".

I said that's really nice. Then she goes on to say "I'm all about people not having big boobs". So, I said "You mean, you think breast cancer is when you have big boobs?". She said "yes, it's for big and deformed boobs and then people have to have surgery so they can get smaller boobs, I'm all about smaller boobs".

I didn't think she was serious...but, guess what...she was!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On a more serious note, I'm excited to read the book that Reese mentioned below. Adoption and helping Orphans are something I am passionate about. I hope to adopt one day, we'll see if it ever plans out but it's something I'm very open too. If the Lord opens the hearts of those around me and removes the obstacles in our way, I would love to move forward in that. Sometimes I get very discouraged about not adopting but lately I have been praying that the Lord would show me what I can do while I wait for the adoption to happen. It may never happen, I'm still not 100% sure that it's what our family is meant to do, but there must be something that I can do while I'm waiting.

I would really appreciate prayer for my 9 year old son Mark. He is really struggling in school, I'm struggling to find answers and feeling rather helpless. These are issues that we have been dealing with since I came home from Germany back in September. It seems it shouldn't take a whole school year to get some of this stuff figured out.

Posted by Heather

Time: The Lack Of & a Future Adundance

I have so much on my mind lately. First, without internet (and the podcast I subscribe/listen to daily) I was very focused and productive around the house. I was getting lots done and reading like I haven't since the last time I lived without internet for a prolonged period of time(2002). Now, with only a few day's access to the web, I'm faltering already. That's frustrating. I'm finding that even when I do have a few minutes- like right now- I'm online rather than reading or relaxing. True, this is a form of relaxation that I enjoy, and staying in touch is priceless but I'm missing the other stuff too.

My little boy Zach, who is four years-old but I just got pregnant with him yesterday (know how that feels?!), is about to start a British school. The chance to see him in a school uniform is not to be missed, and anyways, all we've heard is good stuff about their school system here. BUT... they start half days at 3 years, and the equivalent of our kindergarten at 4. Since his birthday is in November, I've been prepared to send him off to school the September before he turns 6. Now it all changes and I'm facing a much sooner departure from the cherished at-home-all-day days. How does time pass so quickly?

Just today I broke into tears while alone in the kitchen doing dishes when I realized that my oldest son Sean will be starting high school in the fall. He chose all his elective classes for his freshman and sophomore years this week. His top choice? AFJROTC (Air Force Junior Reserve Officer Training Course). My baby, who seems much too young to have that shadow of a mustache on his upper lip, is not only starting high school but is already preparing for college and a possible military career. Happily, when I met this lady on Thursday she actually laughed out loud when I told her I had a son going into high school. She said I looked too young for a kid that old. (Isn't that a Garth Brookes song?)

So with all my kids facing the door of the nest, whether for good or just during the school day, I have been thinking about what I'm going to do with all this extra time. By the fall Ian may be eligible to start school part time (if he's potty trained by then), so I'll be completely alone for a few hours of every day. Wow. That hasn't happened in years. Now is the time to decide, I guess, so I don't end up wasting it away napping or blogging all that time. I'm thinking of taking classes, working toward one degree or another, or maybe working. There are a few hobbies I've considered taking up, namely beeding and decoupage. Seeing as I'm the least artsy-fartsy person I've ever known, that might not last long.

posted by Reese

Apologies, and the Mindless Rambling of a Woman Shut Away From Proper Society For Too Long

Man, I feel terrible. I committed to blogging every day for a year with Heather, then I abandon her. And while she's sick, no less. Heather, you have my sincerest appreciation for valiantly keeping up the blog, and my deepest apologies for crapping out on you.

Actually, I'm sitting at the library right now because we don't have internet at home yet. I haven't even left my house for nearly two weeks, other than a half day out with Tim last Saturday, because we only had one vehicle we could legally drive and Tim was using it for work. Today the second van passed inspection, so from here on out I'll have more freedom to leave the house, and I plan to tote the laptop with me in search of wireless internet on base so I can check in more often.

I hope you and your family are feeling better, Heather. Give McKenna a big sloppy kiss for me, and search her armpits for those ladybugs that I told her lived there! LOL!

It's Mother's Day this weekend here in England. I'm thinking of cashing in on it, and going back for round two in May. What do you think?! Is that fair?!

ALSO... anyone have Leap Day plans this year? Shouldn't we all celebrate that day when it rolls around? I just heard today that February 29th is the only day women are allowed to propose to men, but since I'm going on 15 years of marriage, I won't be celebrating that way. I'm thinking about something really bizzare (as any celebration of a day that is only a day once every four years should be) like eating purple oatmeal breakfast or skipping rope while singing the national anthem or making all my meals lemon-centered. Any other ideas?