Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction

"Here you go, dear, your dinner. A nice plate of spaghetti and meatballs and a glass of iced tea."

"Why, thank you," she takes the plate and balances it on her exposed lap." What's for dessert?"

"Oh, no dessert tonight, I'm afraid." He answers as he leaves the room. "Bowling night."

He changes his clothes and brushes his teeth at the kitchen sink, and as he walks past the doorway of the room his girlfriend is in he asks, "Do you think you'll come out today?"

She hesitates, biting her lower lip. She reaches for her glass that's balanced on the edge of the sink and takes a slow, long sip. Her voice quivers a bit as she answers, "Maybe tomorrow."

He stops and looks her dead in the eye. "That's what you said yesterday. And the day before."

"Well, I mean it this time."

"Did you mean it when you said it last year? And the year before that?"

"Uh," she hesitates again, "It's just that, well, I can't leave."

"Bugger and Blast! You know it's all in your head!" His face grows red with a heady mix of anger and exasperation.

"Not this time." She lifts her head of greasy, unwashed hair and looks him full in the face. "This time it's real. I can't leave."

"Oh, yeah?" He mocks. "Is a fire-breathing dragon gonna incinerate you if you step out of the bathroom? Is the banshee going whisk you to your grave if you dare to stand up and go to your own apartment?" He bangs his fist against the wall, emphasizing his words. "THERE. IS. NOTHING. KEEPING. YOU. ON. MY. TOILET!"

"But, honey, there is this time. My butt's grown unto the toilet seat. Two years of sitting on a toilet will do that every time. I can't get up."

Think this is a bizarre story? It's true (with my own fictitious embellishments) . Click here for the story.

posted by the Reese