I have been reminded the last few days that my identity solely lies in those around me. Is this the way God intended it to be? No. My identity should be solely dependent on who God says I am. I lack the self confidence to be myself and to accept myself as I am. God made me and to say that I am anything less than beautiful, competent, smart, etc., would be saying that my Creator made a mistake.
I am going to be transparent here. My husband bought something that I HATE! Something that I think makes him look bad, which in turn...makes me look bad. I am praying about it...but, at times my prayers sound something like this: "Lord, I pray you would work in my heart with this issue, please help me to be the wife I need to be, help me to be supportive and understanding...but, Lord, don't forget to take it away...make my husband take it back".
That is not a very trusting prayer. That is me trying to "fix" the situation to something that will make me feel better about myself instead of trusting in who God says I am and being worried about what people might think or say about me.
We are doing a bible study at church right now called TrueFaced. It's amazing! A lot of concepts that are foreign to me, but at the same time make perfect sense. It's all about finding our identity in Christ and who He says we are. I have been really trying to take it to heart, to truly understand what God says about me. To live my life in a way that honors Him, with the talents I have been given.
The revelation this week astounds me on how dependent I am on other people instead of dependent on Christ. I have failed this week, but it's been good for me to look this issue square in the eye. One of the main phrases in the book TrueFaced is this: "Living Out of Who God Says I am". When we live our lives out of who God says we are, instead of how we may feel or what others may think, then we have an abundant life. A life that God can work through. That is my prayer this week. That I honestly Trust in who God says I am despite all the negativity in my mind and thoughts. That I be Me, the Me that I am meant to be, and not be worried about what anyone but the Lord thinks.
The other thing I need to work on is letting my husband be who he is meant to be, instead of trying to change him. I think I have a tough week ahead! :)